Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells...

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 806

You deserved it 10 195

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Same thing different taste

Size Queen

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 05:00

Today, I was hooking up with a girl, but when she got my pants down, she got mad and left, saying she was gonna kill her sister who lied to her about me having a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 195

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 682

You deserved it 60 132

By FuckThis - 31/08/2015 13:16 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 339

You deserved it 2 543

Not my turn

By Perry85 - 10/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 265

You deserved it 1 012

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 823

You deserved it 13 045

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 728

You deserved it 10 555

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 311

Routine

By youaresodumb - 27/09/2010 04:19 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 447

You deserved it 34 356

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 925

You deserved it 639

By Laura - 17/09/2010 00:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years decided it was finally time to have sex. After we did, he told me that he was sleeping with another girl. He wanted to have sex with me to see who was better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 755

You deserved it 6 223

Diabeetus 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 7:51

Perfect reply for these situations. "It varies in size depending on how hot the girl is."

captcool024 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 8:45

haha.. stupid bitch.. hot dog down a hallway at this point.. dont worry bro she says it to everybody, because her boyfriend is a giant *****.

Comments

murr52727 22

Thursday 10 September 2015 21:45

lol at least you were pleased... **** her

amberdea404 28

Monday 26 October 2015 5:36

I sorry but maybe you should have known her a little better, stds spread even with condoms.

LycanGod 27

Monday 25 July 2016 0:31

could have said that "it's ok, I have a girlfriend and she is tighter than you" lol

Levicicus 6

Sunday 27 January 2019 9:34

She was taking you for a test drive and would have kept you if you were bigger than her boyfriend

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The Top

Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 546

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 584

You deserved it 35 268

The Top

Today, I was hushed in a theatre during a play. I would normally appreciate a discreet silencing in the audience, but I was saying my lines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 883

You deserved it 257

Today, despite getting all vaccinations and taking all precautions, I've tested positive for Covid. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 372

Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 221

You deserved it 4 544

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 486

You deserved it 3 040

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may become my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 603

You deserved it 3 816

Today, I got frustrated looking for jobs and decided to take a quiz on best-fitting careers. My results speak for themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 377