Sex and Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated...

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 02:49 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 315

You deserved it 17 966

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Same thing different taste

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 652

You deserved it 86 720

By Ihatemylife - 03/03/2013 12:17 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 872

You deserved it 6 362

Dirty talk

By awkward - 22/02/2014 05:39 - United States

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 624

You deserved it 10 475

U wot m8?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom - Ilminster

Today, my now ex-boyfriend said to me, “Who’s your daddy?” during the deed and it was so off-putting, I said my dad's actual name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 266

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 916

You deserved it 7 113

Parental advice

By ifeeldirty - 27/10/2011 12:22 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 8 900

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 192

You deserved it 9 764

Sex talk

By Baby - 26/01/2017 08:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was having sex with an ex when he whispered in my ear, "Who's my baby?" I, being very bad at dirty talk, said, "You." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 625

You deserved it 1 593

By say my name - 01/07/2012 01:35

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 395

You deserved it 11 426

By anonymous - 06/09/2016 03:05 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 343

You deserved it 2 236

michael_wells831 16

Monday 29 December 2014 10:50

I never have a girl call me daddy it's just weird and a turn off like I'm not trying to role play incest haha

sarah2144 14

Monday 29 December 2014 10:56

Saying who's your daddy during sex is creepy as ****.

Comments

Overreactive 16

Monday 29 December 2014 11:14

Lol she was probably just confused

anonymousguy1569_fml_fml 12

Monday 29 December 2014 11:14

I'm going to guess the milkman.

chazzywazzy654 22

Monday 29 December 2014 23:07

Why is this thumbed down, it's hilarious xD

abigiggles 39

Monday 29 December 2014 11:14

This is a repeat. I've read it before.

SeriousJoker72 18

Monday 29 December 2014 11:19

Dude that's really weird and creepy! Why would you even ask that!?

____gerard____ 11

Monday 29 December 2014 11:41

It's kinda normal .__. But it's also ******* terrifying

__GLaDOS__ 5

Monday 29 December 2014 11:21

Is it just me, or are there too many "daddy names in relationships" FMLs?

kaylee129 14

Monday 29 December 2014 11:37

Complete turn off!

fiveforfighting 26

Monday 29 December 2014 11:45

Oops! I'm sure she knows you didn't know and she may have found it funny even, good luck in the future OP!

smeboo 12

Monday 29 December 2014 11:45

Welp! Definitely not you! Guess you should never use that phrase again.... Please...

Geffort 10

Monday 29 December 2014 11:53

lol very funny.

TomeDr 24

Monday 29 December 2014 12:17

Who says things like that? Weirdo.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 223

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly ran across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family who owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 5 959

The Top

Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 947

You deserved it 2 474

Today, after spending $300 replacing a dryer and getting the vents cleaned out when our tenants complained their clothes weren't getting dry, my husband and I realized that it was actually the washing machine that was broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 280

Today, I returned to work after a week off due to severe food poisoning, after which I ended up in the ED. I was given a warning for causing an inconvenience to everyone, and next time I'm going to be sick, I should give 3 days notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 110

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 903

You deserved it 4 142

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 880

You deserved it 7 413

Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 102

You deserved it 2 163

Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

U wot m8?

Get on with it

Parental advice

Sex talk

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