Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized...

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 791

You deserved it 5 730

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 5 766

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306

You deserved it 2 763

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 769

You deserved it 4 441

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 545

You deserved it 6 494

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 4 478

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 343

You deserved it 5 179

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 69 138

Automaton

By Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 714

You deserved it 9 558

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 2 145

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 345

theneatoburrito 8

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:45

Well show him you enjoy making airplane sound effects as you leave the bedroom.

spike1994 2

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:49

You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.

Comments

spike1994 2

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:49

You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.

PincessBoff 6

Saturday 5 January 2013 20:34

Role playing level: air port.

TipOfTheHat 10

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:49

Tell him the control tower will not clear him for takeoff! He needs to grow up!

etm250r_fml 4

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:51

That's just a queef

LiterOfCola 16

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:58

Please delete your profile picture Now you changed it and I look foolish... Rest assured everyone it was a very creepy man picture..

etm250r_fml 4

Saturday 5 January 2013 19:43

She's gone, gave her the ol' lickaroo

ICastillo 24

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:51

Houston we have a problem..There was a few early accidental discharges right after landing...

nycwrestler 17

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:53

I guess his plane win't be entering her hangar

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Saturday 5 January 2013 18:37

Maybe if he'd trim his cockpit and aim for a calmer landing she wouldn't mind.

wagne057 6

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:54

He'd be all to excited if you had a landing strip down below.

Enslaved 36

Saturday 5 January 2013 18:36

Shave that and he just might crash!

g4m30v3r 11

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:58

Pretending he's in the "cockpit"?

nycwrestler 17

Saturday 5 January 2013 18:02

Does op have a ****?

Enslaved 36

Saturday 5 January 2013 18:54

No, but she has the pit.

lorraineald 7

Saturday 5 January 2013 23:05

It's the pit where the **** goes.

poccocurantes 7

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:59

I prefer motor boat sounds myself.

perdix 29

Saturday 5 January 2013 18:00

What a n00b! Any accomplished lover would know what a woman wants at that intimate moment: a space station docking sequence. Sometimes women come when they hear, "Insertion module aligned. Open air lock." Yeah, it's that hot.