Miscellaneous: Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop... - FML

By htothecr - 03/05/2009 21:05 - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 205

You deserved it 141 028

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Same thing different taste

By CH - 07/12/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 694

You deserved it 41 145

By Michelle - 26/04/2010 21:42 - New Zealand

Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 714

You deserved it 17 354

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 909

You deserved it 60 289

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 71 619

Get back here

By Anonyme - 30/08/2013 10:59 - France - Ivry-sur-seine

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 138

You deserved it 35 990

Holy smokes

By Anonymous - 24/07/2021 18:01

Today, I’m down to my last, partially snapped cigarette. I carefully taped it back together, enough for at least half a smoke. I then snapped it completely while opening the door to go outside and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 1 215

NOT NOW!

By AintEasyBeinWheezy - 28/04/2016 18:26 - United States

Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 340

You deserved it 1 050

By david - 28/04/2009 14:08 - United States

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 154

You deserved it 111 358

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 876

Next

Top comments

RyeBreadBoy 0

Monday 4 May 2009 1:08

why would you eat candy and smoke at the same time? doesn't the taste of the cigarette kind of overpower the taste of the candy?

Sessee 4

Monday 4 May 2009 1:10

YDI for smoking.

Comments

wcgirl 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 0:51

Who smokes these days anyways?? EW!

Melodious 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 1:47

Wow, that's stupid. #27. Lol. XD

Oriina 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 3:35

Y'know ... unless you were holding each object in the opposite manner that you usually would ... I cant' see how you'd mix that up. Did ya burn your tongue? EDIT: Just read 26. I still wonder how, though, OP.

CapnObvious123 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 3:41

What a great anti-smoking campaign.

anonymousstudent 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 4:52

good i hope it burned dont smoke

Teriyaki360 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 6:00

dumbass

munnzx 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 7:11

are you making this one up?

missus_butter 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 21:26

Ick! I lol'd. YDI.

chitoryu12 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 23:52

Don't smoke, kids.

heeystefi_fml 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 1:24

agreeeeee #5

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The Top

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing, or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 2 519

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 265

You deserved it 4 813

The Top

Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 642

You deserved it 5 813

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 463

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 953

You deserved it 2 320

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 238

You deserved it 3 287

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my love handles. It tickled, so I giggled and squirmed out of his grip. He looked at me quizzically and said, "I'm surprised you still have feeling there with all that fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 879

You deserved it 8 833

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 505

You deserved it 20 698