Health: Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my...

By ridella - 08/04/2011 10:35

Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 817

You deserved it 5 471

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

By Sparky - 20/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 246

By Anonymous - 13/05/2019 12:00

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 959

You deserved it 121

By tm - 18/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Madisonville

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 849

You deserved it 2 103

Ironic

By Anonymous - 12/12/2020 11:02 - United States

Today, on my way out to get salt for the driveway, I fell and split my head. I'm now sitting in the ER waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 91

No pain, no meds

By I don’t stink - 01/05/2020 20:00

Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 309

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 4 399

Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 307

You deserved it 285 185

Acting out

By itsgotime - 20/03/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 359

You deserved it 7 909

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 128

You deserved it 3 238

By clair_brodie - 04/07/2019 20:00

Today, as I was putting some dishes away, I spilled water on the floor. While walking around the dishwasher, I slipped on said water, and after going to urgent care, found out I tore my meniscus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 225

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Friday 8 April 2011 15:59

watch those grapes, I nearly had my penis amputated because of one. true story

mrmerino 0

Friday 8 April 2011 16:30

oh my gawd that reminds me of that episode of spongebob where he slips on an ice cube

Comments

ChibiGirl5 0

Friday 8 April 2011 18:04

you must be fat

CoonAndFriends 0

Friday 8 April 2011 21:09

What does weight have to do with it?

twizzy21 0

Friday 8 April 2011 18:18

All i have to say is. WOW! Sorry to hear about your accident. I will always remember to watch for grapes ;-)

kyusake_huz_DAT 0

Friday 8 April 2011 18:19

what have you done to the GRAPE! is it still edible?? poor grape!

kyusake_huz_DAT 0

Friday 8 April 2011 18:24

Wala GRAPED!

shift_love 13

Friday 8 April 2011 18:27

you should get some more calcium in your life. it'll strengthen your bones boy

Tantalum 1

Friday 8 April 2011 19:28

Must have been one giant grape to do that sort of damage.

xJordieeBearhhx 0

Friday 8 April 2011 19:46

how do you slip on a grape? still, fyl.

Locoluis 15

Friday 8 April 2011 20:09

It's a known fact that elephants can break their bones if they trip. So please try and be respectful with this one.

babyyduck 2

Friday 8 April 2011 20:22

was it frozen?

skyeyez9 24

Friday 8 April 2011 20:31

If your friends a d family ask how you got hurt, make up a cool story! Slipping on a grape...they will never let you forget that.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 146

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 365

The Top

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 409

You deserved it 3 548

Today, my father informed me that he is going to divorce his bitch of a wife, but told me not to say anything to mess things up, in case he wants to "hit that one more time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 147

Today, I saw a car swerving in front of me on the freeway, so I whipped out my cell to report the DUI. As soon as it started ringing, I see police lights in my rear view and got slapped with a ticket for using a cell phone while driving. After explaining why, the officer said, "Nice try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 780

You deserved it 28 529

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 637

You deserved it 57 618

Today, while I was working at McDonald’s, a customer ordered the Shamrock Shake. I told him that due to supply chain issues, it was sold out. He threw a tantrum, then blamed all of us for, “Putting Sleepy Joe in office.” He stormed out, yelling, “Let’s go Brandon.” I don’t get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 237

Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me 4 times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift 2 days in a row, apparently that is insensitive of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 767

You deserved it 263