Miscellaneous: Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive...

By maximus - 20/01/2010 00:08 - United States

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 243

You deserved it 31 263

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Same thing different taste

Get on with it

By HURRY IT UP - 05/12/2022 12:00

Today, I was in line at Chipotle behind the guy ordering for his entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 102

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 7 790

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 364

You deserved it 859

Strange flex, but OK

By Jpah - 24/06/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice. We were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes, she asked me, "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?" She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 906

You deserved it 3 912

Crucial information

By no one - 02/06/2020 14:00

Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 26/10/2012 07:23 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 915

You deserved it 3 236

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 844

You deserved it 3 087

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a new restaurant when I went to the restroom. When I was done, I sat back down at the table, and idly started listening to my friends chatting. After a few seconds, I realized I'd sat at the wrong table, with complete strangers, who were too polite and/or bemused to say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 482

By pootythe5th - 30/08/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 38 668

By fmylyfe - 09/11/2013 14:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, while I was working at Chipotle, a teenage girl asked in all seriousness if she "could have a steak burrito, but with like, chicken instead?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 902

You deserved it 3 966

drgnsf8 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 10:39

not an fml. why do people get grossed out when girls talk about the same shit guys do.

kerrygirl 13

Wednesday 20 January 2010 9:32

and this is a fml because??? were u like automatically going to get with her since u sat at the next table???

Comments

FlyPhoenix 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 23:24

STOP TRYING TO BE SUCH A SNEAK! YDI that's what you get! XD

capthavoc123 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 23:28

Sure is plagiarized from South Park in here...

iwillkillyoutoo 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 23:54

YDI. be glad she didn't go home with you and take a dump on your chest.

readme 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 0:54

Maybe I read this wrong, but sounds to me like they've got EDs. Though i couldnt hear the conversation, maybe it was just the food.

Erniesduck123 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 2:34

How does it sound like they have EDs? You did read it wrong.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 21 January 2010 1:24

This is why you should eat at Qdoba.

Mike_H0ck 1

Thursday 21 January 2010 2:31

@ #67: No you eat at chipotle and enjoy it! consider the after effect just a bonus.. i do.

xmagster 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 3:10

ok, so let me get this strait... YOUR life is ****** because SOMEONE ELSE who would never go out with you anyways (who picks people up at Chipotle?!) is possibly going to have diarrhea. YOUR LIFE SURE IS ******!!!!

xmagster 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 3:11

sorry this was a repost...

menschmaschine5 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 6:05

No matter how old someone is, being interested in women in their 20's does not qualify them as pedophiles. You're only a pedophile if you're interested in people below the legal age of consent (usually 18), or, needless to say, children.