Miscellaneous: Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and...

By Anonymous - 20/12/2013 02:45 - United States

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 321

You deserved it 5 852

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Long list of grievances

By ADayAtATime - 10/03/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to sit and listen as a customer explained to me how we are all being controlled by chemtrails, how all the rich people are ruling the world from underground bunkers, how Michelle Obama is a man, how COVID was a hoax, and that the world is flat. I hate being in customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 11:00 - Norway

Today, I was outside with a guy I really like. He asked me to lay down on the ground and watch the stars with him. I did. Suddenly, he got up, walked over to another girl and kissed her. They left me there on the soaking wet ground, watching the stars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 406

You deserved it 3 916

By Anonymous - 12/08/2011 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 162

You deserved it 2 974

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 732

You deserved it 36 358

By Anonymous - 12/12/2015 05:32 - United States - Alexandria Bay

Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 437

You deserved it 1 400

Caught in 4K

By Nothing Special - 23/12/2015 06:54 - United States - Hixson

Today, it's been a week since I flew down to stay with my long-distance boyfriend. We went on long walks on the shore, under the stars, and had an unforgettable picnic viewing the sunset. I just now received a message of screenshots displaying him attempting to hook up with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 914

You deserved it 1 801

Great start

By siggit - 10/09/2009 15:58 - United States

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announced incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime." My wife went into a full panic attack. We hadn't even left the ground yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 880

You deserved it 3 167

By really - 07/11/2014 00:30 - United States

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 041

You deserved it 4 365

By Creep - 28/03/2009 00:24 - Canada

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 321

You deserved it 149 368

By ManInTrouble - 16/03/2010 04:50 - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 688

You deserved it 4 526

Welshite 39

Friday 20 December 2013 5:42

He's only a legitimate conspiracy theorist if he was wearing a tin-foil hat. If he didn't have the hat, then he may be right.

Potatoverse 7

Friday 20 December 2013 5:41

Another nut for the jar!

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 20 December 2013 7:14

You see people in a frenzy doing their holiday shopping, getting stressed to the boiling point and plunging into debt for the sake of high-stakes, competitive gift-giving? And you think it's the CIA in the mind control business?

GanJwAR15 3

Friday 20 December 2013 8:11

The CIA already did that with crack cocaine in the late 80's to create covert funding for the Contras and mujahideen in Afghanistan fighting the Soviets during 1979-1989, whereas the LSD testing took place during 1950-1973; Project MKUltra. However, the mind control was mainly Project MKUltra. Simple research, considering it is all "declassified," per say. Lol-- Good attempt though. Regarding the contrails, another person has already answered that well. ^_^

Orhugs 11

Friday 20 December 2013 9:01

Umm they are Chem trails... Do one google search

Randomxnp 10

Friday 20 December 2013 11:56

They are contrails. Short for "condensation trails". Made from water vapour condensing to make ice crystals, i.e. a cloud that happens to be caused and shaped by the path of the aircraft. Ice is considered harmless in most circumstances.

Ksweety_fml 27

Friday 20 December 2013 9:10

Shit, hey, who knows.......

Mary_victor 3

Friday 20 December 2013 9:14

Chem trails from trains are like shit streaks on underwear.

kitsune309 15

Friday 20 December 2013 9:18

"Where do you live? It's ******* December. How is there grass? How can you lay outside comfortably? How???" said the Idahoan.

dreadbeat69 12

Friday 20 December 2013 9:24

I have proof that [REDACTED]

Rednomad 5

Friday 20 December 2013 9:27

I'm wearing a gray snow cap made of tin-foil all the time. Every time I take it off, I get cold head and lost track of thought what to do next. But read some more FMLs.