Intimacy: Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how...

By fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 857

You deserved it 30 578

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

Humping

By needanotherbed - 28/05/2014 14:21 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I climbed into bed with my sleeping boyfriend after a long shift at work. He immediately rolled over, clamped my leg between his knees, and started viciously humping it. This is the fourth time now, and he still doesn't believe that he even does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 420

You deserved it 6 198

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 738

You deserved it 5 669

Exercise One

By blah - 02/06/2020 23:00

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 437

Not helping

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 06:00 - Spain

Today, i told my boyfriend that I wasn't feeling emotionally well, and wanted cuddles. He proceeded to hump my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 1 305

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 970

You deserved it 14 590

A little higher, dude

By Anonymous - 04/04/2022 14:00

Today, I was laying in bed with my boyfriend. He started caressing me, his eyes were closed, and he said, “I love touching your boobs.” Which was actually a roll of fat on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 527

By jonnah - 05/03/2010 13:06 - Canada

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. His response? "Is that why you have been so clingy and annoying lately?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 689

You deserved it 5 295

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 684

You deserved it 8 434

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 738

You deserved it 36 372

By yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 197

You deserved it 4 643

silly_kitten 9

Friday 12 August 2011 16:14

That's when you say "Less humpin' more dumpin'."

zebraface 15

Friday 12 August 2011 16:08

Ditch his ass

Comments

lilseskie 2

Friday 12 August 2011 21:47

^^so true!

tecktonik123 0

Friday 12 August 2011 23:30

your cute but a d*ck cuz girls just want to tell you and remind you that they love u

deviable 9

Friday 12 August 2011 21:47

Tell him no lovin no humpin.

tecktonik123 0

Friday 12 August 2011 23:36

^^ win

kidcanada 4

Friday 12 August 2011 21:52

Well if it happens every single time either stop complaining or dump him

klong91 7

Friday 12 August 2011 22:28

Tell him lovin before humpin

lunargh 7

Friday 12 August 2011 22:34

DTMFA. Occasionally, it's a stupid joke. But every time? Dude doesn't give a crap, doesn't pay enough attention to realise you don't think it's funny. There are plenty of guys out there who'd actually talk to you, be romantic; do you really want to be with this lad?