Love: Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting...

By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 521

You deserved it 37 935

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 375

You deserved it 2 628

By anonymous - 24/10/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 649

You deserved it 4 076

By Anonymous - 14/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 240

You deserved it 953

Felicia doesn't approve

By uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 806

You deserved it 3 540

And I oop

By SuperBunny - 20/04/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 62 047

By Starchyld - 11/11/2009 12:21 - Canada

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 939

You deserved it 4 135

Clean break

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 11:02

Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 424

You deserved it 341

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 8 137

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 2 633

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 4 526

AwsumShyGuy 12

Friday 13 July 2012 16:12

Yeah, you shouldn't have said that in the first place anyways. Even if it wasn't his mother. Remember that hobo story?

SpoonsAndPickles 5

Friday 13 July 2012 16:27

I'm wondering why they didn't greet each other

Comments

naduskalove 3

Friday 13 July 2012 23:13

Awkward.....

KM96 24

Friday 13 July 2012 23:14

Maybe he was embarrassed? Though that is still no excuse to ignore your mother, right?

deransc 19

Friday 13 July 2012 23:30

That awkward moment when you tell your date his mom is disgusting

kittykail13 2

Friday 13 July 2012 23:49

Mhm, Karma's a bitch. Try walking a mile in someone elses shoes before you judge.

ILuv_toaster182 5

Saturday 14 July 2012 0:24

Lol Ydi for saying it in the first place. But why would she just walk by if she was his mother?

Leslier_fml 4

Saturday 14 July 2012 0:33

That's just weird.

pexy_fml 16

Saturday 14 July 2012 0:40

His mother or not, it doesn't change the fact that she is disgusting

Eiregal2 10

Saturday 14 July 2012 0:55

there for the grace of God go I

koolkat27 13

Saturday 14 July 2012 5:45

Excuse me?

Joui_fml 11

Saturday 14 July 2012 0:56

Karma's teaching you a lesson for talking bad about others for attention, eh?

fbear10 5

Saturday 14 July 2012 0:56

Good going, smart one! Lol jk

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The Top

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 242

You deserved it 6 977

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

The Top

Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 395

You deserved it 3 009

Today, I noticed that on the calendar in my boyfriend’s apartment, for every week of the months when I have my period are coloured in red and over them, in block capitals, he has written 'BEWARE'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 762

Today, the guy I've been dating and sleeping with told me he is also dating another woman, but that they only kiss. I was under the impression we were exclusive for two months now, since I told him if we slept together that it would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 437

Today, I'm feeling so lonely and miserable that I started adding a few drops of whiskey to my coffee, just to make all those shitty thoughts disappear for a moment. I know that it won't really help and I need therapy, but I can't afford it right now. On the other hand, it seems that I don't really care anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 173

Today, I found my 5-year-old son prancing around in high heels and cat ears, wearing a thong as a necklace, and waving a riding crop around like a sword. He'd found the box where granny keeps her special outfits that make granddad extra happy on Friday nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 588

You deserved it 409

Today, my mom informed me she got married two weeks ago. Hard to congratulate her when this is her eighth husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 610

You deserved it 1 470