Love: Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting...

By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 521

You deserved it 37 935

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/01/2012 05:32 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 375

You deserved it 2 628

By anonymous - 24/10/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 649

You deserved it 4 076

By Anonymous - 14/06/2016 02:39 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, on a first date, he told me I look like his ex's mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 240

You deserved it 953

Felicia doesn't approve

By uneek_3225 - 22/10/2009 05:53 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 806

You deserved it 3 540

And I oop

By SuperBunny - 20/04/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 62 047

By Starchyld - 11/11/2009 12:21 - Canada

Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 939

You deserved it 4 135

Clean break

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 11:02

Today, I'd taken this girl I'd recently met through Facebook dating to my family cabin. Apparently, her hygiene wasn't that great, because she didn't shower all weekend. The entire 4-hour ride back to her house was miserable, as every time she opened up her legs it smelled like a dead rat. I'm still mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 424

You deserved it 341

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 8 137

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 2 633

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 4 526

AwsumShyGuy 12

Friday 13 July 2012 16:12

Yeah, you shouldn't have said that in the first place anyways. Even if it wasn't his mother. Remember that hobo story?

SpoonsAndPickles 5

Friday 13 July 2012 16:27

I'm wondering why they didn't greet each other

Comments

kiwienne 21

Friday 13 July 2012 18:45

Agreed. If OP says such things while on a date, I don't want to imagine what kinds of things she'd say if she got more comfortable with him. Sounds like she likes to judge people

tennisrapper1 14

Friday 13 July 2012 19:00

This guy is so manly! He can protect you, love you, and be incredibly awesome all at the same time! Why are you complaining OP? xD

unknown_user5566 26

Friday 13 July 2012 21:51

How in the world did you draw all of those conclusions from the FML?

IzabellaBlack 0

Friday 13 July 2012 22:55

47- how didn't you draw those conclusions? Hmmmmmmm?!

IWillEatYouAlive 16

Saturday 14 May 2016 20:18

"He can protect you" From who, his mother?

LuminousKing 7

Friday 13 July 2012 19:02

So... what happened next?

lovepandorasaver 11

Friday 13 July 2012 19:32

Sounds like something I would say as a joke to a girl, just to see the reaction.

mrsquiggles6900 5

Friday 13 July 2012 19:44

Um. Who else thought that devils toenails sounded so funny?? Lol

outoftown 26

Friday 13 July 2012 21:56

Shallow of me, but I gave OP YLS just for that phrase.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 14 July 2012 5:18

Sounded to me like OP was trying too hard to turn a clever phrase.

alexlovescandy 3

Friday 13 July 2012 19:47

It was probably a sign you shouldn't go out with him. I mean if that's what his mom looks and smells like, how could you be with him if he has a family like that?

starflyer59 17

Friday 13 July 2012 21:46

you're a judgemental asshole and you should be put in your place. there's always a family member in everyone's family that has a quirk. you will remain alone for the rest of your life if that's what you choose to base your relationship on. you're incredibly shallow and I hope the mods freeze your profile. people like you make me sick.