Miscellaneous: Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls...

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 189

You deserved it 21 642

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 21:28 - United States

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 3 197

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 324

You deserved it 3 408

By lehonj49 - 21/06/2013 16:10 - Australia - Burwood

Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 854

You deserved it 3 688

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 845

You deserved it 4 744

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 472

Party hard

By vcarder - 04/10/2013 20:25 - United States - Newton

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 978

You deserved it 43 183

By I Tried - 29/01/2016 22:18 - United States - Burton

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 453

You deserved it 3 642

Don't even try

By divingconfidence - 22/12/2012 11:21 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 722

You deserved it 4 795

By Slayer - 09/10/2011 23:28 - Canada

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 580

You deserved it 35 723

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 648

You deserved it 13 129

Welshite 39

Saturday 1 December 2012 5:55

I've never heard testicles called "ladies" before, but yup, you definitely harassed them.

MrClean17 15

Saturday 1 December 2012 5:52

Every man can relate to the pain of sitting on one's own balls

Comments

fancypantsgirl 3

Saturday 1 December 2012 10:10

How do you sit in your own balls

CharresBarkrey 15

Saturday 1 December 2012 10:28

Are you at all familiar with male anatomy?

fancypantsgirl 3

Saturday 1 December 2012 10:12

Don't worry I don't know either. I got your back :p

b_rad_fml 4

Saturday 1 December 2012 11:14

You went commando, your fault. Here's your YDI sign!

redhedsaysrawr 18

Saturday 1 December 2012 15:21

You don't have to go commando to sit on your balls... I'm a girl and even I know that...

martin_martian7 11

Saturday 1 December 2012 13:07

Girls won't understand the pain of our balls

thelegendarystm_fml 4

Saturday 1 December 2012 16:52

Do you not have any idea what the phrase 'through no fault of my own' means? How could you sitting on your balls be anyone's fault other than your own?

djinnyf 12

Saturday 1 December 2012 17:32

When you call a couple of girls a pair, you kinda deserve this....

TheInfamousJosh_fml 12

Saturday 1 December 2012 18:44

There seems to be a gap in information from the time you sat on your balls, till the time you got thrown out. Some people just don't know how to tell stories.

1crabbygirl 10

Saturday 1 December 2012 19:27

Describing the people as a pair is making me barf in my mouth. Knowing that you crash-landed on your own junk helped me swallow my regurgitation and get on with my day.

tressie_fml 6

Saturday 1 December 2012 22:24

I've never sat on my balls in my 21 years of life...

yeti37 16

Saturday 1 December 2012 23:55

because yours haven't dropped yet

NiktoLjubitTibja 2

Sunday 2 December 2012 1:21

Maybe he said something like "Ooh baby" (as in "Ooh baby that hurts" minus the last two words) or said "f me" or something like that? And it was misconstrued as being directed towards the women? Please elaborate, OP. WE NEED TO KNOW! Our lives will be incomplete!