Miscellaneous: Today, I was pulling out of my driveway and was watching out...

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By samantha246 - 11/05/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway and was watching out for the flowers I'd just planted. I moved my head to look out of my window to avoid them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head, broke my nose and drove all over the flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 667

You deserved it 43 268

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

By munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 854

You deserved it 42 497

Fiat 500 woes

By Too tall for this shit - 30/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 125

By Michael - 25/10/2011 15:00 - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 938

You deserved it 15 642

Car washed

By IHateMyJob - 14/09/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 725

You deserved it 3 397

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 316

By Sean - 10/06/2013 02:27 - United States

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 280

You deserved it 7 661

Slammed

By Bambi - 12/08/2009 06:49 - United States

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 202

You deserved it 46 199

Lee Trevi-not

By Anonymous - 10/10/2019 12:07

Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 1 531

She's lost control again

By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 20:01

Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 252

By Ouchhh - 25/05/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 915

You deserved it 4 558

Some_guy 6

Tuesday 12 May 2009 1:48

Today, I was well-rooted in the soil. I was soaking up some rays and generally enjoying being a flower, when some jackass backed over me with their car. FML.

WhyMe1_2_3 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 2:21

on the bright side, if your windows were/are clean enough to be mistaken for being down, your doing a kickass job at cleaning :D

Comments

Seegtease 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 3:50

I was confused at why people were complaining about "proceeded" and so I looked it up. One of the definitions reads: "To go forward or onward, especially after an interruption; continue: 'proceeded to his destination'; 'paused to clear her throat, then proceeded'." What he said seems roughly okay. Of course, he could have just skipped the words "proceeded to" altogether, so I don't know.

unibrowicorn 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 3:52

#33 people are annoying about "proceeded" because almost every FML uses that word.

turdburgers 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 4:15

" I then proceeded to hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers." Wouldn't it be easier to say 'I hit my head...', instead of 'I then proceeded to hit my head'? Using the word "proceed" doesn't make you sound smarter and just adds unnecessary bulk to the sentence, so I'm not sure why it's so popular.

blankslate 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 4:12

Pretty much all of the FMLs could do without any variation of the word "proceed". It's almost always unnecessary. Sorry.

kapowi 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 4:27

Today, I was just standing still and clear, as I usually do. Then, one of my owners decides to hit me with a car. It hurt. FML.

FBIWarning 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 4:32

dumb ass, YDI

RPGod 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 4:32

How do you not realize your window is down? Windex doesn't really work that well, sweetheart!

bipolarchipmunk 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 4:35

^ Sea cucumbers don't have to worry about sounding smart. Sea cucumbers just ARE. They ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE. ARE what they ARE.