Health: Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended... - FML

By Till We Pass Out - 03/10/2015 15:30 - United Kingdom - Halifax

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 661

You deserved it 5 303

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 327

You deserved it 14 193

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 983

You deserved it 4 835

By a faint recollection - 23/05/2016 01:57 - United States - Goshen

Today, while at a trampoline park, my time of the month and my out-of-shape body worked together to make me almost pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 039

You deserved it 2 028

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 15:42 - Belgium

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 517

You deserved it 2 901

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 5 959

By Anonymous - 02/03/2010 14:45 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 817

You deserved it 8 575

Weak

By Heavybreather - 13/02/2017 12:00 - United States - Athens

Today, after climbing 5 flights of stairs I walked into the restroom to take a piss. I was winded but trying to keep my heavy breathing to a minimum. My plan failed when I almost fainted inbetween two guys at the urinal and started gasping for air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 871

You deserved it 1 129

By MGDS - 14/12/2013 05:52 - United States - Pine Grove

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 192

You deserved it 3 269

Knackered and shattered

By Out of Shape - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Egypt

Today, I decided to start exercising. I almost passed out five minutes into the warm up, and couldn't even stand in the shower afterwards. I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 125

You deserved it 35 886

Next

Top comments

Razabin 15

Sunday 4 October 2015 12:10

Don't force it dude.. Got to let it be natural! Just relax.. It'll happen.

xoxoblondee 31

Sunday 4 October 2015 12:13

Guess you pushed yourself to your limit.

Comments

lemonchips 12

Monday 5 October 2015 0:52

What did you eat?

Skylyric52 11

Monday 5 October 2015 2:36

Start eating those prunes

helveeta 11

Monday 5 October 2015 5:38

Did you forget who number two works for?

butterfli_murt 3

Monday 5 October 2015 6:54

that's how my grandpa died.

KxHoneyCombxP 24

Monday 5 October 2015 7:18

stool softeners and fiber tabs. bro

MonstreBelle 29

Monday 5 October 2015 11:19

A couple of years ago my boyfriend had to have a colonoscopy and was told he wouldn't be able to leave until he farted. He also passed out because he was trying so hard to fart.

mikepzz 27

Monday 5 October 2015 18:49

Don't push a number 2, a number 3 will result which is where you pass out. Then shit and piss all over yourself

phoneaddict13 29

Monday 5 October 2015 23:46

this site has made me scared every time I go to the bathroom

mellebelle31 7

Friday 9 October 2015 1:21

Just remember - that's how Elvis died!

Yiske88 1

Friday 23 October 2015 15:24

I think you should check you diet, man!

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The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 792

You deserved it 11 207

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 503

You deserved it 70 830

Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 317

You deserved it 3 648

Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 490

Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 841

You deserved it 4 515

Today, it’s only the first week of school and already I’ve confiscated five vapes, ended makeup tutorials along with full pallets and contour kits, broken up three fist fights, and had to remind the class of the importance of keeping one’s clothes on during school. I teach fourth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 55

Today, I broke my glasses, so I scheduled an appointment to get a new pair. The soonest available appointment? November 21st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 110