Health and Miscellaneous: Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My...

By LaurenLehmmman - 27/12/2009 22:22 - United States

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 291

You deserved it 52 245

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

By quietdown - 30/05/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 039

You deserved it 4 759

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:23 - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 593

You deserved it 46 288

By gumchuck - 05/02/2015 21:03 - United States - Marshall

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 16 307

By FGum - 30/07/2009 05:56 - United States

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 466

You deserved it 87 848

Surprise!

By BAMashleyx3 - 06/06/2019 06:07

Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 671

By anonymous - 09/09/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 301

You deserved it 26 032

Tasty

By I wish it was gum - 23/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 049

You deserved it 683

By Bad at life - 18/10/2018 13:30

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 085

You deserved it 626

Noise annoys

By Breathy - 07/09/2022 00:00

Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 150

nuked 0

Monday 28 December 2009 1:20

And why were you singing during a game? YDI for being a disrespectful idiot.

Malevise 0

Monday 28 December 2009 1:22

YDI for being annoying.

Comments

pyros09 0

Monday 28 December 2009 2:38

I pressed YDI as soon as i read the first sentance.

bostonfan 0

Monday 28 December 2009 2:38

wtf dont inturrept a man watching a football game

Nakedsquirrel 5

Monday 28 December 2009 2:50

Here's hoping the gum was dislodged by smacking the back of your head.

dudeitsdanny 9

Monday 28 December 2009 3:14

YES. That's what I would have done.

suesblues 0

Monday 28 December 2009 3:01

Instant karma. Gotta love it.

CyclonePsycho 1

Monday 28 December 2009 21:38

Insta-Karma: Just add water!

iplaywow 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 6:30

actually its just add bitch

Sabbalabba1992 3

Monday 28 December 2009 3:07

YDI. You need to be kind to others, you bitch. Didn't like that? now you know how your father feels.

snafu57 1

Monday 28 December 2009 3:10

instant karma's gonna get you.

solipsistic 0

Monday 28 December 2009 4:00

hahaha YDI so hard.

Petey_devil 0

Monday 28 December 2009 4:08

HAA. You suck.

Truthkillz 0

Monday 28 December 2009 4:23

Who in there right mind would talk and interrupt a football game? A retard that's who

thesunshotme 0

Monday 28 December 2009 4:37

Well... You didn't die. Where's the FML?

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 148

The Top

Today, I had to go to the dentist to get 11 cavities filled. I took a wrong turn and ended up being 10 minutes late. My dentist told I had to reschedule because of his "10 minute policy." I have to wait 14 days now to get my cavities filled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 1 296

Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 151

You deserved it 2 054

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 772

You deserved it 5 549

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 673

You deserved it 3 910

Today, while working in a kids' shop, I absent-mindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then hear a deep man's voice say "I'm not a little man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 573

Today, my future mother-in-law finally admitted that I'm "not the girl for her son" and that she will do anything to break us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 412

You deserved it 2 903

Same thing different taste

Surprise!

Tasty

Noise annoys

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