Miscellaneous: Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party....

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 199

You deserved it 5 410

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Same thing different taste

By thedd - 18/08/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 168

You deserved it 3 901

By happy bday - 17/09/2010 04:02 - Canada

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 001

You deserved it 9 396

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 18:54 - United States

Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 359

You deserved it 4 243

By Starter656 - 24/12/2017 06:00

Today, I'm the designated driver for a Christmas party I wasn't even invited to. Not only do I get to watch people have a good time, but I'm also supposed to not get involved in the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 390

You deserved it 812

By IhatebeingtheDD - 15/10/2010 14:08 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 451

You deserved it 4 085

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 144

You deserved it 3 486

Booze don't cure the blues

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 07:58 - United States - Edison

Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 166

By BirthdayBoy - 28/03/2015 03:42 - United States - Madison

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 982

You deserved it 3 143

Party hard

By Coldflame - 06/03/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 134

You deserved it 7 526

By good friend - 27/12/2013 06:35 - United States - Missoula

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 531

You deserved it 5 817

nahgemoohc 17

Wednesday 6 July 2011 15:59

shit!! well, happy birthday!!

NomOnShroomz 14

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:02

Well hopefully you'll still get *musical note* birthday sex, birthday sex *musical note*.

Comments

enonymous 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:12

Zima's for everybody!!!

tenacious_dee 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

welcome to my life.

purpleamandapand 6

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

At least you're helping out your friends. would you rather them drive home drunk?

TheBlackCops 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:52

Yes, I drive better drunk.

griffindragon97 3

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

that's a bitch

LolMoqz 10

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

It's your birthday! You don't have to do shit!

ChantelRenaeee 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:15

oh god I feel sorry for you.. but hey- free soft drinks for the night!

areyouforcereal 7

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:15

wow, that sucks. If I were you I would make my friends call a cab or something.

HuntressLocs 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:16

that's sucks. Think you guys need to work out a plan b

btown99909 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:17

I wish my friends were that generous

MiNdYRaWrZ 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:17

haha happy birthday it's my birthdy too =)

BetaMaxx11 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:44

mine too

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 682

You deserved it 15 213

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 115

The Top

Today, I found out that being a good boyfriend who financially supports his girlfriend through university, has a good relationship with her family and even put myself at risk to care for her through a COVID infection, doesn’t matter because she prefers the guy she cheated with who has a bigger knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 183

Today, after a trip to the emergency room for severe stomach pain and almost passing out in the shower, I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 120

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 268

You deserved it 2 936

Today, I came home early from work and walked in on my husband in bed with his two young female "bible study students" from his church. Now I remember why he explicitly said to never interrupt his, "Sunday School Studies" with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 119

Today, I hit the gym. With my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 360

You deserved it 1 858

Today, I posted a simple question on a Facebook group about 2000s nostalgia, talking about missing the old stuff and how I don't like modern stuff, and people got annoyed over that. What the fuck did I do to you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 438

Same thing different taste

Booze don't cure the blues

Party hard

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