Miscellaneous: Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party....

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 11:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 201

You deserved it 5 410

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Same thing different taste

By thedd - 18/08/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 169

You deserved it 3 901

By happy bday - 17/09/2010 04:02 - Canada

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I'm now in charge of driving my friends home after they've had an awesome night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 003

You deserved it 9 396

By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 18:54 - United States

Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 360

You deserved it 4 244

By Starter656 - 24/12/2017 06:00

Today, I'm the designated driver for a Christmas party I wasn't even invited to. Not only do I get to watch people have a good time, but I'm also supposed to not get involved in the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 393

You deserved it 816

By IhatebeingtheDD - 15/10/2010 14:08 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver for my friend's 21st birthday. On the way home from the bar, he threw up all the pasta and tequila he'd had onto the back seat of my car, and told me it was part of his whole party plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 452

You deserved it 4 086

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 146

You deserved it 3 487

Booze don't cure the blues

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 07:58 - United States - Edison

Today, it was my birthday, and even the person who seemed excited about me finally turning 21 and can legally drink forgot. Guess who got drunk alone tonight? This guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 168

By BirthdayBoy - 28/03/2015 03:42 - United States - Madison

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 984

You deserved it 3 144

Party hard

By Coldflame - 06/03/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 136

You deserved it 7 527

By good friend - 27/12/2013 06:35 - United States - Missoula

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 531

You deserved it 5 818

nahgemoohc 17

Wednesday 6 July 2011 15:59

shit!! well, happy birthday!!

NomOnShroomz 14

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:02

Well hopefully you'll still get *musical note* birthday sex, birthday sex *musical note*.

Comments

enonymous 8

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:12

Zima's for everybody!!!

tenacious_dee 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

welcome to my life.

purpleamandapand 6

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

At least you're helping out your friends. would you rather them drive home drunk?

TheBlackCops 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 18:52

Yes, I drive better drunk.

griffindragon97 3

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

that's a bitch

LolMoqz 10

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:13

It's your birthday! You don't have to do shit!

ChantelRenaeee 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:15

oh god I feel sorry for you.. but hey- free soft drinks for the night!

areyouforcereal 7

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:15

wow, that sucks. If I were you I would make my friends call a cab or something.

HuntressLocs 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:16

that's sucks. Think you guys need to work out a plan b

btown99909 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:17

I wish my friends were that generous

MiNdYRaWrZ 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 16:17

haha happy birthday it's my birthdy too =)

BetaMaxx11 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 0:44

mine too

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The Top

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 669

You deserved it 3 982

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 037

You deserved it 4 250

The Top

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 475

You deserved it 37 432

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 300

You deserved it 7 133

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 874

You deserved it 1 812

Today, I'm super sick with a sinus infection and delirious from a lack of sleep and all the meds. When I walked into math class, a boy asked if he could sit next to me. In my head I tried to say, "This is college you have the freedom to sit anywhere you want." All that came out was, "Freedom… everywhere." FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 219

Today, I was riding home from church with my parents when my mom turned around and told me that this morning there was a demon in our living room, and the reason that demon was allowed inside of our house was because I've been watching porn. I'm grounded for 3 weeks because of an informative demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 453

You deserved it 178

Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 102

You deserved it 10 934

Same thing different taste

Booze don't cure the blues

Party hard

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