Intimacy: Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse....

By WorstLifeEver - 25/06/2010 00:45 - United States

Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 902

You deserved it 13 392

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 706

You deserved it 758

By asdffhhjk - 15/05/2013 08:08 - Philippines - Makati

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 102

You deserved it 9 389

By scfead - 14/08/2009 22:28 - United States

Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 528

You deserved it 16 202

HEY YOU

By stabbed with kindness - 02/03/2013 21:44 - Russian Federation - Elektrostal

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 537

You deserved it 45 208

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 356

You deserved it 11 010

Are you new?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 02:28 - United States - Lakewood

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 533

By Gitana - 22/04/2012 19:08 - Spain - Tafalla

Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 909

You deserved it 3 169

By cassidy_smith12 - 24/08/2013 14:55 - United States - Medina

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 525

You deserved it 3 570

By anonymous - 20/12/2010 11:23

Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 114

You deserved it 3 270

By dhbeaver - 17/03/2012 13:04 - United States

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 021

You deserved it 4 611

Nena713 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:22

What an ass.

kidsanchez1 4

Friday 25 June 2010 9:32

I'm sorry I was dared to do it

Comments

Gannon1994 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:24

Seriously, what an ass. Should of ran after him and beat the shit out of him with your purse.

Nena713 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:26

Lol.. I second this motion.

mrragealot 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:40

should have told him to keep going, its obvious the OP wanted that to happen. allwomenarebeachesandshores k

Nena713 0

Friday 25 June 2010 10:05

I guess your mom is too huh?

summerlove333 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:24

lol that sucks fyl

xGet_Over_It 0

Friday 25 June 2010 14:52

stop sucking dick so your faces won't be stuck that way.

gasbreakdipdip 0

Saturday 26 June 2010 8:02

lol^

pilotkev 5

Friday 25 June 2010 9:26

But did you do the "Bend and Snap"? If you did... YDI :o)

pingpongpickle 8

Friday 25 June 2010 9:27

hahaha

Nena713 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:31

Haha!! Bend and snap works everytime

superbadd 0

Friday 25 June 2010 11:54

rofl

firefighter23 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:26

baaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha

palatapus 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:26

Im not sure what boob honk is, but it doesn't sound like something sisters should do...

bassdredd 2

Friday 25 June 2010 9:27

hahaha wow....still, sometimes you just gotta lighten up and take the joke lol

FiveStar83 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:27

must have been a teenager.

Raleigh_bruh 7

Friday 25 June 2010 9:28

It's where you squeeze someone's boob and go 'honk, honk'. Pretty self-explanatory. :P

jill_m 3

Friday 25 June 2010 9:28

lmao! that's hilarious!! :)

Firestar_fml 0

Friday 25 June 2010 9:29

LMFAO

Keywords

Relatable Shoes Clothes Miscellaneous Transportation Insurance Cars Work Health Cheating Love Food Clumsy Embarrassing Awkward Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Cute Dogs Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 329

You deserved it 3 665

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 172

The Top

Today, after a week of searching, I found my escaped snake. In my umbrella, outside, after opening it over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 591

You deserved it 8 288

Today, I got yelled at by parents of one of my students because their child didn't perform well at their Winter Concert. These are the same parents who told me months ago that I needed to be more lenient by allowing their kids to skip rehearsals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 228

You deserved it 584

Today, I found actual poop inside the washing machine. Gotta love roommates… FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 102

Today, our company did a photo-session for the website. The photographer was limping, and I immediately asked what's wrong with him. Then I noticed he was on a prosthetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 443

You deserved it 2 528

Today, I watched Change-Up with my dad. He made us leave half-way through the movie, because he thought I was too young to watch a movie this explicit. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 791

You deserved it 3 263

Today, while working a grueling shift where I wanted to just die, my ex-girlfriend, her friend, and some permed up rich boys pulled to the drive-thru, blasting music and overall being a nuisance. One of her boyfriends pretended to put money in the tip jar, then went, “SIKE!” and they sped off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 102

Same thing different taste

HEY YOU

Are you new?

Top comments

Comments