Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in...

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 316

You deserved it 3 833

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Same thing different taste

By Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 650

You deserved it 1 569

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 591

You deserved it 941

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 12:49 - India

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 266

You deserved it 5 399

Animal union

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 279

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 591

You deserved it 3 580

By Anonymous - 23/03/2011 11:50 - United States

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 054

You deserved it 5 084

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 321

You deserved it 49 589

Foul

By Embarrassed - 20/01/2023 18:00

Today, I rushed home, barged into the bathroom, and released the biggest, most foul mudmonkeys ever, complete with noises. I came out and my brother and his hot friends, including the one I have a crush on, were all laughing. My brother told me, “Don’t forget to Lysol spray.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 167

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 401

You deserved it 4 697

simplyn2deep 2

Monday 10 August 2009 1:15

I'll take that experience over my experience: gorilla crap thrown from 10 ft away

Buzzetta 0

Monday 10 August 2009 3:06

What zoo does not have a bathroom? Man up and go to the bathroom and wash your face with soap and water.

Comments

blooop_fml 0

Monday 10 August 2009 1:17

How is that an fml? It was a hot day and you got a quick way to cool down. People need to be more grateful.

spatan89 0

Monday 10 August 2009 1:19

why cant you shower?! im sure after what happened the zoo would immediately assess the situation. you could sue them for that... on another note, which zoo does this cage setup thing? the designer must have been very stupid to not thing of events like this happened...especially monkey cages!

someindiandude 6

Thursday 5 April 2012 20:59

what is with this country and suing for random crap....urine in this case.

cristy91 33

Tuesday 11 August 2015 6:44

Monkey Jungle has this exact setup and is in FL. It's actually one of its selling points.

coldplaylive2003 0

Monday 10 August 2009 1:24

yum

cristy91 33

Monday 10 August 2009 1:55

Were you at monkey jungle?!? (hopefully you look at this) And that sucks. Even if you can wash yourself, you'd have to wait till you get home to put on a new shirt. Or waste a lot to buy a new shirt. Either way that sucks.

tenkenshi 2

Monday 10 August 2009 1:56

You didn't need that shower since you already got a golden shower from the monkey.

rawrrr101 0

Monday 10 August 2009 2:16

you could have washed your face, at a bathroom.

ISellHerbs 0

Monday 10 August 2009 2:29

I thought that too but you have to think that if the monkey had a good stream going for a second or two it would have run off their face and either on or down their shirt.