Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in...

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 322

You deserved it 3 836

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
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Same thing different taste

By Shitty day - 24/05/2016 05:59 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 652

You deserved it 1 571

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 593

You deserved it 941

Surprise, MFer!

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 98

By Anonymous - 05/01/2010 12:49 - India

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 269

You deserved it 5 402

Animal union

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 280

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 594

You deserved it 3 580

By Anonymous - 23/03/2011 11:50 - United States

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 056

You deserved it 5 085

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 321

You deserved it 49 602

Foul

By Embarrassed - 20/01/2023 18:00

Today, I rushed home, barged into the bathroom, and released the biggest, most foul mudmonkeys ever, complete with noises. I came out and my brother and his hot friends, including the one I have a crush on, were all laughing. My brother told me, “Don’t forget to Lysol spray.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 173

By Soaked - 20/05/2010 15:20 - United States

Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 403

You deserved it 4 701

simplyn2deep 2

Monday 10 August 2009 1:15

I'll take that experience over my experience: gorilla crap thrown from 10 ft away

Buzzetta 0

Monday 10 August 2009 3:06

What zoo does not have a bathroom? Man up and go to the bathroom and wash your face with soap and water.

Comments

browneyes56 0

Monday 10 August 2009 18:59

Ah! i live in florida too and i think i know the monkey zoo your talkin about. ahah and i love #51

yowzerz 5

Wednesday 12 August 2009 2:50

There ARE bathrooms at the zoo. True you can't clean your clothes or anything, but you could have at least washed your face and hair and bought a shirt from the gift shop. I don't think I would have stayed for six more hours after that.

Saluton 18

Wednesday 12 August 2009 8:25

FYL. They shouldn't use these sections then. Can't you sue them, by the way?

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Thursday 8 July 2010 8:09

Sue them? Everytime something slightly bad happens, there's an american telling people to sue. You're bigger ******* than the french.

bluefairy_fml 24

Thursday 3 February 2011 23:11

#67, I find it strange too that Americans tend to sue for basically everything (at least in movies). But if their legal system allows people to get loads of money by suing, then why not to sue?