Intimacy: Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and...

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 243

You deserved it 6 619

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Same thing different taste

By anniecook - 27/11/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 986

You deserved it 7 254

By noantiquesforme - 30/03/2015 18:39 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 731

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 762

You deserved it 2 979

By ohman - 17/07/2009 17:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 270

You deserved it 8 190

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 117

You deserved it 3 784

PUA

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 16:16 - United States - Smyrna

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 370

You deserved it 2 243

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 2 595

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 492

You deserved it 6 181

By pussystroker - 19/11/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, a cat came up to me on the pavement so I petted it a little. An elderly man rode past on his bicycle and shouted, "I'd like to stroke your pussy too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 331

You deserved it 4 001

By Help Me - 18/01/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 330

You deserved it 8 484

jazzy21 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:13

You should've said yes, stood just out of arm-length and get the old man to take steps towards the other side of the street! Win-win scenario :P

AjaxF 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 12:11

Well, did you help him cross the street?

Comments

pinkdottedbow 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 15:41

YDI, not all senior citizens need help crossing the street.

MzKylz 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 15:45

giggity

vhince 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 15:56

did you let him?

jiggyjiggz 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 16:27

"Today, I was about to cross the street when this prostitute walked up and asked me if I'd like an escort." Perspective.

zzzBOLTzzz 1

Thursday 13 January 2011 0:54

Best comment of this fml!

triggerit 5

Wednesday 12 January 2011 17:02

and butts too

HomeAl0ne 20

Wednesday 12 January 2011 19:13

I'm deaf. I thought you said "Can I help myself to your feet?".

EvenHopeHides 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 19:14

**** or gtfo

bentonfootball 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 22:41

Did u let him?

IneffableLullaby 13

Thursday 13 January 2011 0:23

What a dirty old man. Truly the Master Roshi of our world. Eugh. DX

haayourlifesucks 0

Friday 29 July 2011 12:27

finally a girl who watches DBZ!

beast195 0

Thursday 13 January 2011 6:18

lol damn that old man is a beast

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The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 332

You deserved it 41 023

Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 018

You deserved it 5 277

The Top

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 377

You deserved it 2 592

Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 679

You deserved it 22 940

Today, I discovered a cat turd in a bath towel from most recent batch of laundry. I was wondering why my facemasks for the whole work week smelled so strange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 185

Today, I had to explain to one of my friends that the cap he likes to wear makes people look at us funny in public. He thinks it's just the White Sox logo. It's styled like the baseball team's logo, but it actually says "Sex". I had to show him both side by side for him to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 110

Today, when I woke up, I thought I’d be sexy by waking my girlfriend with oral sex. Still half asleep, she said, “Robert, stop it that tickles.” My name is Linda, we’re a lesbian couple who've never expressed interest in men, so who the fuck is Robert? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 822

You deserved it 493

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 320

You deserved it 6 049

Same thing different taste

PUA

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