Love: Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by...

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 474

You deserved it 7 058

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 847

You deserved it 4 744

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 14:01

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 201

Catch 22

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 318

You deserved it 1 904

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 120

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 15 890

Sounds like a sitcom

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 16:00

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 1 706

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 326

You deserved it 3 409

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 3 711

Ah yes, homophobic jokes, so funny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 05:01

Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 107

Ligerie 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

Is wife code for "penis"?

Plumppotato 3

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

did you tell him that?

Comments

KittehKatt 0

Monday 12 July 2010 23:27

... why would you date a woman, even in the 80s, when your gay ?

Tearmose 3

Friday 30 July 2010 3:53

probably because he was in the closet at the time and using her as a beard?

mordecaiandrigby 26

Thursday 7 June 2012 21:49

#249, people aren't born knowing they're gay, it takes some time to figure it out... and OP, that guy's an idiot

Lexipop49 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 6:40

Gay fag is gay :-P

walkerellis 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 4:49

ydi for being gay

ryukensfj 5

Wednesday 27 October 2010 14:27

awesome! now u can be a gay rich guy. just sue him and u will come out on top

igorwn 3

Tuesday 16 November 2010 15:03

gay supporters are the ignorant one because they try to find every single excuse to let these people do something that everyone knows is completely wrong. typical gay supporter ; Omg what you gonna do their born thay way u cant change it ! well thats wrong because there is no single gene related to homosexuality..homosexuality is not predictable so u cant blame it on their genetics! another argument by gay supporter: animal engage in homosexual activity so it must be natural! well animals engage in cannibalism of their own species. does that mean we should each other? yeah great going you dumb igorant trying to justify somethin in any way possible. last comment so what if its 2010 some things were wrong 2000 years ago and they still are..so you guys are sayin since we are so modern next step is allowing pedophiles rapin childa because i mean we are modern we gotta let pedophiles enjoy their feeedom right its not their fault if they wanna engage in relations with little boys..liberals these days they make me laugh!

atticus41 0

Saturday 11 December 2010 19:39

you probably liked being manhandled.. ****.

cindayy77 0

Thursday 24 February 2011 7:36

last time I was with a guy was a month ago... that sucks u weren't with a girl for that long... and god that guys a douche

randomchic4 0

Friday 3 June 2011 9:21

this is to all the narrowminded ***** who hate gays. there is NOTHING wrong with gay people!!! would you enjoy it if, everyday, someone made fun of you because of your beliefs? didn't think so. oh. and for all of you i've pointed this out to. the narrowminded ones, how can you call yourselves a Christian, or a religious person, if the first thing you do is judge someone because they're 'different'? oh. and this is all coming from a 15 year old girl. you adults should be ashamed.