Love: Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by...

By Jeff - 25/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 474

You deserved it 7 058

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 847

You deserved it 4 744

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 14:01

Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 201

Catch 22

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 20:01

Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 318

You deserved it 1 904

No means no

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 22:00

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 120

By milkybear - 15/06/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 867

You deserved it 15 890

Sounds like a sitcom

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 16:00

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 1 706

By ThisIsWhyIStayAtHome - 24/05/2014 00:09 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a nightclub when some dick squeezed the ass of the girl beside me. She whirled around and started yelling and slapping me across the face. I was dragged out by the bouncers, to cheers from the people around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 326

You deserved it 3 409

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 580

You deserved it 3 711

Ah yes, homophobic jokes, so funny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 05:01

Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 107

Ligerie 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

Is wife code for "penis"?

Plumppotato 3

Tuesday 25 August 2009 23:05

did you tell him that?

Comments

boojangles 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 22:42

why are people so closed-minded these days? theres NOTHING wrong with being gay. and OP, i'm sorry that happened to you. :(

RWARS 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 5:51

I'm sorry, but that is the most amazing story I have ever heard. :D

DeathTaktiXz 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 9:57

I'm sorry but i'd have to disagree with you, men are born to as the opposite sex for woman and vise versa, what the **** would the world be with all guys ****** each other and the girls with their lickin.

brianjman14 22

Monday 31 August 2009 19:36

#73... go back to ur hole.... seriously.... no one wants you here....

besad_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 15:54

I got a call from a woman saying I was harrassing her husband. She said she was gonna call the cops. But it was a blocked call so I ignored it. This story reminds me of it. Even though I was 11 when I got it.(I'm 14 now)

Teh_Pwnage 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 4:58

You Deserved that for "Fooling around with his women"

Sorrytohearthat 0

Thursday 8 October 2009 2:45

Jesus! Did you tell him that? Nobody deserves that sort of thing.

Dharman117 0

Monday 26 October 2009 23:18

YDI for being gay.

XKroongOX 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 3:25

he is the good guy your the gay douche

brianjman14 22

Monday 22 February 2010 3:57

kroong ill ****** kill u nikka go die plz ur ****** peace of shit no one wants u here fag ur such a **** mother ******* nigga

Gummybears4life 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 22:34

did you call the cops?

jamesr25 0

Saturday 8 May 2010 7:30

RainnDrop: I read some of your comments and I have come to the conclusion that you are the stupidest person I have yet to see on this site. Not only do you know nothing about Christianity, you also know nothing about any other thing you have said on here.

BlargHonk 0

Friday 18 June 2010 5:09

You ******* idiot. Catholicism is a branch of Christianity. Get the facts before you post, you ignorant piece of shit.

anonymousely 0

Monday 21 June 2010 1:50

It is, but Christianity as a religion is very different from the Catholic religion. I'm Catholic, and sometimes our religion confuses the shit out of my Christian & Protestant (yes, another branch but still different) friends. Anyway that sucks OP; I hope you explained to him.. and everyone needs to stop bashing on gays.

PimpdaddyCJT 13

Sunday 30 May 2010 19:31

you deserve it for being GAY piece of shit

brianjman14 22

Tuesday 13 July 2010 22:34

**** you, asshole. Also, don't try and make your user "Pimpdaddy" or anything like that because most of the time, it makes you look like a moron and tool, which, by the way, you are.