Health: Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a...

By asstomouth - 29/05/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 9 639

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 18/09/2009 17:48 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 559

You deserved it 5 580

By egged - 08/07/2014 01:41 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 3 648

Clusterfuck

By Alexis - 18/08/2021 00:00

Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 83

By lovedbyallthewrongppl - 28/11/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 144

You deserved it 13 632

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 628

You deserved it 3 785

By Anonymous - 06/11/2014 12:15 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 4 258

By Anonymous - 20/06/2019 12:41

Today, just a day prior to my vacation starting, I learned that my five-day "seasonal fever" is actually due to a blood infection from a bacteria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 118

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 393

You deserved it 3 273

Out of it

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 05:01

Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 364

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 429

You deserved it 8 668

yatoast 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:04

******* VOM... I'm a nurse and that's just gross!!!!

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:06

Rectal thermometers? Don't even want to know.

Comments

xvolleyballerx 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:13

ugh nasty.. I almost threw up...

singer4life666 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:15

Aren't you supposed to clean them first?You should've cleaned it nasty O.o

Primus_fml 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:26

Even if it was clean, it's still nasty. Just the mere thought...

ALERI0N 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:33

21- misfits ftw

singer4life666 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 4:57

Misfits ^_^

seanreddog 4

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:18

ydi use a brain a coerect thermometer and protection next time.

FYLDeep 25

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:19

Why the hell do people even own those anymore?

Xavi89 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:21

so what did she have for breakfest?

Primus_fml 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:22

You don't have a fever? Maybe you didn't before but i'd expect you would now.

ninjacapo 2

Sunday 30 May 2010 3:47

i was thinking tht too

5000kings 2

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:22

you should ask before

monkeygirl92 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:23

That's why you should put plastic wrap or something on top of the thermometer everytime you use one. Eww FYL OP. Why does she have a rectal thermometer anyway?