Health: Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a...

By asstomouth - 29/05/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 123

You deserved it 9 639

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 18/09/2009 17:48 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 567

You deserved it 5 583

By egged - 08/07/2014 01:41 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 323

You deserved it 3 649

Clusterfuck

By Alexis - 18/08/2021 00:00

Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 83

By lovedbyallthewrongppl - 28/11/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 146

You deserved it 13 637

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 633

You deserved it 3 786

By Anonymous - 06/11/2014 12:15 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 4 258

By Anonymous - 20/06/2019 12:41

Today, just a day prior to my vacation starting, I learned that my five-day "seasonal fever" is actually due to a blood infection from a bacteria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 119

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 397

You deserved it 3 274

Out of it

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 05:01

Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 369

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 441

You deserved it 8 677

yatoast 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:04

******* VOM... I'm a nurse and that's just gross!!!!

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:06

Rectal thermometers? Don't even want to know.

Comments

Sickkid97 5

Sunday 30 May 2010 2:09

so I took a thermometer from my sisters bathroom that screams ydi

NaN101 27

Monday 29 July 2013 23:01

Ditto.

sw33th3art 3

Sunday 30 May 2010 2:15

602 349 674.... figure it outtttt

musefan99 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 2:16

how did ur sisters ass taste

Totodile 2

Sunday 30 May 2010 2:19

Wow, I wonder why your sister even has a rectal thermometer. Thanks for the laugh! FYL.

mells105 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 2:21

couldn't you tell is tasted like ass???

feenicks 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 2:26

well… how ya feelin' now?

rjccccccc 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 3:07

lolllll #34

FyourLIFEdotCOM8 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 3:18

ydi for using someone elses thermometer.

greeneyed_user 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 3:37

Why the hell would someone us a rectal thermometer when they could use a normal one?

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 30 May 2010 3:59

YDI for not checking. Disgusting though.

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Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

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You deserved it 5 828

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The Top

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You deserved it 1 215

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I agree, your life sucks 2 710

You deserved it 258

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I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 156

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I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 312 935

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I agree, your life sucks 8 566

You deserved it 36 150

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I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 665

Same thing different taste

Clusterfuck

Out of it

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