Health: Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a...

By asstomouth - 29/05/2010 18:20 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 120

You deserved it 9 639

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 18/09/2009 17:48 - France

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 559

You deserved it 5 580

By egged - 08/07/2014 01:41 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 3 648

Clusterfuck

By Alexis - 18/08/2021 00:00

Today, I went to the doctor's office to get my yearly check up. Soon after I got home, I threw up and somehow had a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 83

By lovedbyallthewrongppl - 28/11/2010 01:03 - United States

Today, I was teaching my two year old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 144

You deserved it 13 632

By Anonymous - 26/12/2012 04:56 - United States - Medina

Today, I woke up on my boyfriend's bedroom floor. When I asked him why I was there, he said I'd gotten too hot, so he rolled me off his bed. I have the flu and a fever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 628

You deserved it 3 785

By Anonymous - 06/11/2014 12:15 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 4 258

By Anonymous - 20/06/2019 12:41

Today, just a day prior to my vacation starting, I learned that my five-day "seasonal fever" is actually due to a blood infection from a bacteria. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 118

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 393

You deserved it 3 273

Out of it

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 05:01

Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 364

By missy - 09/03/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 429

You deserved it 8 668

yatoast 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:04

******* VOM... I'm a nurse and that's just gross!!!!

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:06

Rectal thermometers? Don't even want to know.

Comments

PsychoShark 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:34

Are FMLRevoluSean and seanreddog the same person? The person in the picture looks the same...

PottentialFML 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 6:56

yes his original account got banned

MrSassypants 32

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:34

I was just about 2 say #6 failed but noticed him/her is #1 also atleast u didn't like it and hated urself 4 liking it

ninjacapo 2

Sunday 30 May 2010 3:49

him. and yeah thts happened before so i comment first then reply.

zeebruhxoxo 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:36

lmao salty

cracktus 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:39

That's gross, you should totally mail me that thermometer.

AndelleRae 9

Sunday 30 May 2010 1:40

Bahaha, asstomouth makes me think of The Human Centipede. This is one of those rare instances where I click both FYL and YDI. On the one hand it sucks that you had your sister's ass juices in your mouth, but you really should have checked with her before using her stuff.

AndelleRae 9

Sunday 30 May 2010 20:10

Ahaha, I loved it. I thought of it as more of a dark comedy than a horror movie. Maybe if the main characters actually made me want to sympathize for them it would be a horror movie, but they were so stupid! Like... More than the normal horror movie stupid, plus the guy that played the doctor was just hilarious.