Military school doesn't take problem children anymore. They want kids that have discipline, self-initiative and a clean criminal record. They are now prep schools. My step-son goes to military school. It is a $35,000.00/yr private education. Albeit, a damn good education. If he causes trouble or falls behind, he will be shipped home. Military schools are not there to raise your kids for you.

My dad sent my brother to Culver as a "problem child." It is an all boys military academy. This was i the 90s though.

Of course the only ones saying "step dad has no right or authority over me...blah blah blah" are teenagers. Some teens have this skewed view that parents are to roll over and let them run the house and do as they please, instead of raising them to be responsible adults.

@164: 1) Given your deeply respectful and concerned tone, I'm sure your step-daughter will come to appreciate that you are motivated purely by concern for her health and long-term prospects, and will soon realise that you are not simply throwing a tantrum because you don't get the respect you feel you automatically deserve. I am equally confident the locks were installed after a mature, adult discussion between both parents and child regarding parental concerns and her behaviour. 2) If another adult in a position of trust (teacher, social worker etc.) were to imprison a child in a room, I doubt the "locks break easy, just put your back into it" defence would save their job (or the child's life)should an emergency arise. 3) You are not doing your child a "favour" by looking after them. You are fulfilling the obligation you took on when you had / adopted that child. 4) Adults often complain about their kids - on the internet and in real-life. They shouldn't be surprised when their kids turn the tables. To coin a phrase, "suck it up." Seriously, I really hope you're a great step-parent who's just having a bad day. Or a result of Penny Arcade's GIFT theory. Or someone with a really odd sense of internet humour - that works too. OP, did anyone talk to you about this? Was this the outcome of a discussion, or did you simply come home to Alcatraz?

I can understand your reasons for doing it, but you are going over the top, and so I am forced to consider you a control freak. Just tell the guy that he is not welcome in 'your' house, but remember that you do not control her life, as it is hers and not yours. :)

169 Respect is something that needs to be earned. If the child cannot respect her parents, herself or the rules of the house, than no respect will be given in return. I'm not religious, but one of the Ten Commandments is " honor thy father and mother and thy days will be long.". There are certain behaviors and actions that are expected of every member of the household. I was a teenager once too, but i would never have dreamt of treating my parents that way Again, if you want respect, then respect the house, yourself and your elders. Also, do you honestly believe for a minute that her mother and I haven't emphatically stated that we do not want her associating with her "boyfriend". If our wishes were honored, she wouldn't have been sneaking him into the house. Earning respect from your parents does not involve constant deceit, followed with the police calling to pick up your child for being popped for possession, not once but thrice.

I wholeheartedly concur: respect must be earned. It's worth remembering though, that that goes both ways. If the adult doesn't show respect to the child, it's hypocritical for that adult to demand respect from the child. You don't automatically get awarded it because you have an earlier date on your birth certificate. That post sounds more indignant at her cheek in disobeying you than concerned for her welfare. If you had written "I put locks on my kid's window as a last resort, because her boyfriend was constantly getting her into trouble with the police," that's more sympathetic - people might still not agree, but they'd understand your argument rather than reaching the conclusion of "control freak". Admittedly, there is a point where respect has to take second place to safety. It's a parent's duty to protect their child. But locking them in is counterproductive as well as dangerous. At best, you cast yourself in the role of Lord Capulet to her Juliet (never mind how that particular love story ends...), and disliked-boyfriend gets the role of Romeo. At worst, an emergency arises and she's in serious trouble. In OP's case however, there seems to be only "suspicion", not proof. By that logic, should every parent lock their child in, just in case they MIGHT do something rebellious? Even the best-behaved person will kick up a storm if someone tries to take away what they see as their right.

Firstly, she is not locked in. She is more than able to leave her bedroom via the door. Secondly her bedroom window is on the second floor and I am growing weary of removing ladders at 3am. Thirdly, the earlier date on my birth certificate may not garner me respect (it should though), but the fact that I provide for her necessities and luxuries. I understand I have an unpopular position here due to the plethora of teenagers on this site. Let me get one thing straight. If you want your parents to respect you and your privacy, then give them reason to respect you. I am the parent, not your friend or colleague. My job is to provide for your needs and to raise you to become a responsible adult. Once you have demonstrated honesty, integrity and upwards respect will it be given in return. Remember, just because I may not like some of the actions or decisions my children make, doesn't mean I don't love them.