Intimacy: Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided... - FML

By crushed dreams - 16/06/2011 06:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 530

You deserved it 244 079

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Same thing different taste

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 837

You deserved it 8 206

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 593

You deserved it 4 651

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 020

You deserved it 8 045

Ball Is Life

By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 12:00

Spicy

Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 971

You deserved it 254

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 109

You deserved it 2 156

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 356

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 210

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 291

You deserved it 40 629

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 579

You deserved it 11 162

Next

Top comments

DjeePee 24

Thursday 16 June 2011 15:57

You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.

tintin1 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 15:56

Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.

Comments

Sub_Zero_is_God 13

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:24

Ydi for cheating

burgerburger 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:25

playa hatas

Crazy4Christ 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 7:31

I believe the saying is "don't hate the playa, hate the game" it's the playa that chooses the game~ so hate on!

katheriine_fml 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 4:18

noob

burgerburger 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:25

playa hatas

mandaboo 8

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:27

Good for your girlfriends!

EvilLilCupcake 10

Friday 17 June 2011 3:04

ex-girlfriends! no one should stay with this dick head

shad72 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:28

haha got ur shit wrecked :P

kasumii 1

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:28

You deserve more than one painful ********, you cheating man *****. And you actually post this on FML thinking you'd get sympathy. Go to hell.

weezy143_fml 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:29

how about you don't cheat next time....

zniltiaC 19

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:29

That's what you get for cheating. Douche.

klong91 7

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:30

What are you complaining about? you brought it on yourself asshole.

holly_41611 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:31

hahahaha you are an asshole! you definitely deserved it!

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Keywords

Love Party Lonely Awkward ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 372

You deserved it 1 985

Today, my Thanksgiving sucks, pretty much bummed because someone dognapped my Shiba Inu as I went inside a store. I'm trying not to stress, even though all I can think of is, "Is he OK? Has he eaten?" Fuck, I miss my darn dog. The audacity of this person. Literally disheartening. Hopefully he returns to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 126

The Top

Today, the ex-girlfriend I'm still in love with sent me an old picture with the caption, "I miss us." She looked beautiful and happy. Too bad I'm not the guy she's kissing in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 569

You deserved it 3 798

Today, my dad refused to sign a student finance form to allow me to study my dream subject at university because he doesn't want the government knowing his business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 684

You deserved it 415

Today, it was the first day of my new job. It was also the last day of my new job. I got a call immediately after finishing my shift to be told the company has "decided to go in a different direction" and will no longer be needing my services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 818

You deserved it 852

Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 307

You deserved it 902

Today, the guy I made cookies for, spent hours getting ready for, and drove 3 hours in traffic to see never actually wanted me to come. When I knocked on his door, he opened it, but immediately closed it in my face. He then texted me saying, "I met someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 438

You deserved it 3 149

Today I intended to get up at 6 am so I set the alarm for 5 am. What ended up happening was that I got up at 9 am, and the 5 am alarm will ring in two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 678

You deserved it 1 215