Intimacy: Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided... - FML

By crushed dreams - 16/06/2011 06:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 530

You deserved it 244 079

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Same thing different taste

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 837

You deserved it 8 206

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 593

You deserved it 4 651

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 020

You deserved it 8 045

Ball Is Life

By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 12:00

Spicy

Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 971

You deserved it 254

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 109

You deserved it 2 156

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 851

You deserved it 356

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 210

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 291

You deserved it 40 629

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 579

You deserved it 11 162

Next

Top comments

DjeePee 24

Thursday 16 June 2011 15:57

You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.

tintin1 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 15:56

Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.

Comments

skye_luvs_tyler 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:44

how would you feel if ur the one tht got cheated on you stupid mutherfuckr

PuffPuffPass69 7

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:47

don't date two girls at once; unless you're good enough to juggle them both at once. Otherwise you go to a party with them both and get kicked in the balls. Still FYL.

emmyclare 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:48

two words... douche bag

camiguin 3

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:49

Don't be a dick, man. Didja honestly think you wouldn't get caught at some point?

kangaru1 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:50

it's guys like YOU are the reason cheaters, trust issues and broken hearts exist. you deserves it. Good for those girls for teaching you a lesson. Douche!

cumverg 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:54

Just why on earth would you post this? You're not getting sympathy

SteelCladAngel 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:56

is your new nickname one ball Paul?

missy_n 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:56

Both should have been chopped off! YDI x 2!

Devin91 20

Thursday 16 June 2011 17:24

I don't agree with the chopping off but he definitely deserved it .

HansHansen 8

Friday 17 June 2011 18:19

You sick ****.

Devin91 20

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:57

your a dick you shouldn't cheat .

ElGranOrgo 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 16:58

I would of cut them off if I was the nurse or doctor...only because you got caught; dumbass

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The Top

Today, I’ve been threatened with a lawsuit for refusing to treat a patient. I had to refuse her because she brought a huge hairy dog with her that she falsely claimed was her service animal. Not only am I deathly allergic to dogs, the damn thing shat in my waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 73

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

The Top

Today, I bought my first iPhone. Today, I broke my first iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 173

You deserved it 26 234

Today, I learned that there is no way to talk your way out of getting caught drunkenly wiping your ass on your best friend’s sister’s pillow, even if you yell, “SURPRISE!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 1 871

Today, my boyfriend of four years, who has never been anything but loving and supportive, told me after I made a joke that there has been “a change” in how he deals with people, that he has been “purging,” and that I could be next because he “has needs too.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 266

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 936

You deserved it 81 860

Today, I finally met my girlfriend's family. When it was time for dinner, I was sent upstairs to get her brother. When I walked in, he was laid out on his bed getting a rimjob from his cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 635

You deserved it 669

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 190

You deserved it 4 384