By OTZ - 26/01/2010 11:30 - France
Same thing different taste
Back to the comfort zone I go
By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 09:00 - United States - San Diego
Never again
By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa
Get it on, bang a gong
By Anonymous - 12/09/2019 15:00 - Bulgaria - Sofia
By LoveSucks - 18/05/2019 21:54
Money first
By Anonymus - 31/01/2020 20:00 - Canada - Warkworth
By newmoongirl1036 - 13/07/2015 02:03 - United States - Chicago
By SoccerBabe42 - 26/12/2011 12:11 - Canada
What the hell is even that?!
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Forest
By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 15:48
By boohoo - 04/06/2012 12:45 - Netherlands - Amstelveen
Top comments
Comments
**stop**
All that comes to mind is "suck it up". Feels like this is one of the dumbest FML's I've read as of late.
He's obviously insecure, and overcompensating. Those things are superficial and don't make him anywhere near perfect. He's probably mentally and emotionally ******. It's the personality that means the most, and he obviously doesn't have one, just that fake douche-y-ness. You Deserve It for caring about all the wrong things. Your Life Isn't ******, because he's one guy, who has no personality, and you should be GLAD to let him go.
You know why he has to keep bragging about his wealth and success? Inadequate penis. Maybe it is small or soft or he can't last for more than a few seconds. He wants to keep you so hungry for his material goods that it will offset the inevitable disappointment of your sexual encounter. It will be literally anti-climactic!
This is probably closest to the truth. He's most likely overcompensating for some major insecurity.
I used to think this was a kind of cliche comment just to shoot down anyone who got on your nerves with their bragging, but the one guy I've met who matched this description perfectly ]-------------------------------------[ ^this big. When hard.
Refer to your little finger for a better indication in that case. And pretty anti-climatic, yes, especially considering I'd been telling myself that if his equipment was even half the size of his ego that maybe the bragging would be worth enduring.
Twinklestar, agreed. Ive had the same experience.
I suddenly decided that "waiting" was a virtue I held in high regard. He acted confused seeing as I'd obviously already let him get his pants off, but I'm sure that's not the first time a girl had suddenly reevaluated their morals at that point in his relationship with them.
Oh, damn! Poor bastard! Your story makes my mind race with possibilities! I'm not sure what's going on in Europe, but here in the US, we're having a booming Abstinence industry. Purity rings, etc. I can imagine putting a life-size photo of his erect penis on a credit card and selling them to girls as "V cards." The scene makes me cringe -- you two making out, things getting hotter, finally he whips it out and suddenly, maidenly purity bursts in and saves the day!
I'm not sure what a "v card" is, and wikipedia didn't clarify this for me, but if it's supposed to act as a deterrent for young puritan American girls I'm sure you'd make a killing with that idea.
Wikipedia wouldn't help -- Urban Dictionary would. Until now, it was not literally a card, but with this story, we could make them and make a fortune by warning a generation of girls of the horrors of sex. And then, we'd hypocritically take our earnings and use the money to have lots and lots of sex.
Generally I wouldn't agree with the idea of paying for sex, but it sounds like the only responsible thing to do with those profits to be honest. Amsterdam here we come.
Twink, I like the way you think, but I wasn't thinking of paying actual prostitutes directly. I envision using the money to lavish gifts, etc. on girls to make them "give" me sex. It's basically the same, but without the taboo, and there's always a chance they'll examine my junk and leave me holding the bag, so to speak. That's the thrill! I look forward to celebrating our partnership in Amsterdam and hope a glimpse of my manhood doesn't put you in a convent :D
If he achieved all that success on his own then he has a right to brag about it but if he does it constantly then i can understand how it might get annoying. When you talk to him you should just start every topic with, "so you're rich and successful......" He should get the point.
This fml reminds me of that Shania Twain song That Don't Impress Me Much.
Keywords
Being good-looking, rich, and having many achievements tends to raise one's ego. Deal with it or move on.
First date? It can be the nerves? Try second date and decide afterwards....