Sex and Intimacy: Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were...

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 975

You deserved it 24 462

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 801

You deserved it 121 805

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 023

You deserved it 4 100

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 338

TMI FML

By eugh - 07/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 576

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 258

You deserved it 37 892

By Catholicguy - 20/12/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 311

You deserved it 4 553

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 416

You deserved it 73 590

To do what?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Shailer Park

Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 204

Stupoopy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:13

You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!" and then we'll see who's laughing.

curious_missy 1

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:19

bill her for the replacement condom! Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter

Comments

iluvu21396 0

Wednesday 27 May 2009 1:31

overprotective much? seriously though, i'd do what # 1 said. im not kidding but you know, # 10 doesnt that have that bad of an idea either.....

reese1223 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 11:02

tell ur mom she needs to stfu and she is a jesus freak...oh btw jesus is dead and ur worshipping dirt right now...u have one life...live it.

lolololcheese 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 0:32

lol@christianity.

sarah616222 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:35

OMG I LOVE YOUR MOM AHAHAHAHAAA

bbobe900000 0

Friday 5 June 2009 9:44

#42- but what if she's dumb enough to have sex without a condom anyway? then her mom just made it even worse. and besides, you can just go to walgreens and buy some more condoms, it's not like they're hard to get. all her mom did was waste time and money. if they want to have sex, they will. yeah your mom is a dumbass, hope you didn't get pregnant

absolutezero1287 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:12

Shit...all I hear from my mom is "are you being safe"? "Are you using condoms?" "Don't forget the condom!" Its just beyond my comprehension why a mother would do that. Oh wait...maybe because she's an insane bible-thumping bitch. :D

KevinB_fml 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 7:29

go with #1. Dont actually get pregnant, just tell her you did. Then a couple weeks later let her know it's all good cuz you aborted it using a rusty coat hanger.

UnluckyChick1465 0

Monday 15 June 2009 8:02

Holy SHit! hahahha. Wow i would hate your mom but thats hilarious i would so get her back though!! I love the condom and egg white things that would make her freak and make sure it has a hole in the condoms so it drips all over her bed. HA! FYL :] p.s. wow your mom bitch. But Genius

Tahiri 2

Saturday 20 June 2009 21:37

She could have ended up pregnant or with an STD BECAUSE of what her mom did. Try and keep up

Tommy1990 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 17:04

Your mother is clearly a fundamentalist Christian *******. Confront her and tell her that you are having sex whether she likes it or not, then offer her the choice between you using condoms or doing it unprotected. Then see if she goes sticking Jesus pins in them all.