Sex and Intimacy: Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were...

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 975

You deserved it 24 462

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 801

You deserved it 121 805

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 023

You deserved it 4 100

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 014

You deserved it 6 223

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 338

TMI FML

By eugh - 07/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 576

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 258

You deserved it 37 892

By Catholicguy - 20/12/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 311

You deserved it 4 553

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 416

You deserved it 73 590

To do what?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Shailer Park

Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 204

Stupoopy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:13

You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!" and then we'll see who's laughing.

curious_missy 1

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:19

bill her for the replacement condom! Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter

Comments

Big_Will89 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 14:12

I can respect people who believe in it, but **** I hate the idea of religion

Howdyplz 2

Wednesday 22 April 2009 5:13

#73, she has more than 1 condom in her room because you don't buy condoms one at a time. THey come in packs.What are you, 12? And seriously, that sucks that your mom would do that. Sure, she wants to show how she dissaproves, but I'd rather know my daughter is having safe sex than to be unsure if she was going to get stds or pregnant.

heythere123 0

Tuesday 28 April 2009 0:23

Everyone thinks your mom is a bitch, but since I don't believe in sex before marriage, I find this hilarious.

yanarach 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 17:55

Your mom is awesome. I agree with 220. I also don't believe in sex before marriage, and loooool. I laugh every time I see this one on the random page. It's hilarious, you have to admit.

Fml37 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 13:13

I hate religious freaks like that. You should be able to make your own choices.

Svbsweetie 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 3:14

Go buy more condoms and keep them somewhere else. :P

Liss143 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 6:56

LOL!! I agree with 223 though or have your boyfriend buy them.

MajorTom85 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 22:52

Guys should have condoms. It's not just a girl's responsibility to prevent pregnancy. Also, your mom sounds like a psycho. If you don't have condoms, but decide to have sex anyway, what's she gonna do? Tell her you had sex without them and got pregnant and had multiple abortions. That ought to piss her off.