Health: Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife...

By bobby - 12/06/2010 22:13 - United States

Today, I went to lick the excess peanut butter off the knife after making a PB and J. Turns out the knife can and will cut your tongue, even though you don't think it will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 766

You deserved it 62 535

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Same thing different taste

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 890

You deserved it 4 468

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 22:00

Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 491

Hangry boi

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I had a massive craving for peanut butter and jelly. While making a sandwich, the jar slipped from my hands, bounced off the counter, and exploded all over my kitchen. Now I have peanut butter and jelly in places I didn't even know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 119

Fork off

By Godzilla’s wife - 28/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 27/02/2014 14:34 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 054

You deserved it 61 222

Butterfingers

By heeeeeyitsbrittney - 09/05/2019 08:00

Today, I cut myself with a butter knife while trying to get a piece of brownie from a pan. I don't think I was meant to survive on Earth for very long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 360

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 986

By Ryan - 07/02/2010 14:18 - France

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 466

You deserved it 4 063

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 605

You deserved it 56 782

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 255

You deserved it 5 507

JesseJaymz 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 3:01

you didn't think a knife made to cut things could cut u?

kraykray_fml 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 3:01

duh. thats pretty obvious it a KNIFE...

Comments

lovesamystery 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 6:18

88- bluewafles.com is the most perverted website ever... nice name tho ;) OP: wtf!! I alway use my finger to get it of the nifedipine and then eat it...

PeaceLoveAmelia6 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 8:25

Get it of of the what? I can't read that. Haha. Sorry.

PeaceLoveAmelia6 0

Wednesday 16 June 2010 8:27

*off (stupid iPod keypad thingy.)

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 13 June 2010 6:19

Ouch...um...why would you use such a sharp knife for PB&J? Why not use a butter knife? And if that cuts you, you must have really weak skin. YDI for using a sharp knife instead of a butter knife.

quraishakrueger 4

Sunday 13 June 2010 6:21

lol. i lick my knife too. except i use a plastic one. :/

quick2die 0

Sunday 13 June 2010 6:23

ok everyone seems to be saying to use a different knife like a butter knife but better yet just use a spoon. u cant cut urself with that.... unless it's like a broken plastic spoon u gotta be careful with those their tricky haha