Miscellaneous: Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents... - FML

By tehaustiebear - 03/10/2012 22:03 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 760

You deserved it 2 744

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Same thing different taste

By Messiahman - 30/10/2011 01:31 - United States

Today, I was playing twister with my girlfriend at the school carnival. I jokingly squeeze her butt, only to find her mom standing right above us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 926

You deserved it 34 059

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 302

You deserved it 33 319

By Anonymous - 28/12/2013 20:07 - France - Sardieu

Today, my girlfriend informed me that our relationship is an open one. This was only after I was told that when she was "stuck in traffic" two days ago, she was actually playing the triple-X version of Twister in my "best friend's" bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 087

You deserved it 3 390

By Anonymous - 14/09/2018 14:30 - United States - Edinburg

Today, my girlfriend and I hosted a family game night with her grandparents and her father, who was bringing his "friend" who he'd been dating for a couple of weeks. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 072

You deserved it 220

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 39 423

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 05:56 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 039

You deserved it 3 934

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 015

You deserved it 7 503

Teenage PDA warning

By Bali_Boil - 16/01/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 688

You deserved it 6 822

By anonymous - 14/01/2012 11:42 - Australia

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 679

You deserved it 3 647

Pillow Fight Club!

By Crushingdefeat - 05/07/2021 18:03 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my girlfriend and I babysat our neighbors' 10 year-old. After a while, he challenged us to a pillow fight. I opted out, but she accepted. I went to use the bathroom and I came back to find her face down on the floor, as he sat on her back bashing a pillow against her head. What the hell did I miss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 139

Next

Top comments

HelplessSerenade 5

Thursday 4 October 2012 8:33

Twister requires you to get tangled up together...whether they like it or not you're gonna end up touching each other.

PrincessPesa 20

Thursday 4 October 2012 8:33

It's not just twister, mister. Don't you know? Twister is the gateway drug to a lifetime of reckless sexual abandon. You may even be be the product of a game of sexy twister! Evil board games, corrupting our youths. What is the world coming to?!

Comments

crissaaaay 2

Thursday 4 October 2012 23:48

Maybe it's cause it's not normal for couples to go over to their spouses house to play twister...?

zombiekitten87 12

Friday 5 October 2012 2:07

They aren't married... And married people usually live in the same house.

devonisthebest 7

Thursday 4 October 2012 23:59

Who plays twister anymore? Obviously people who are pretty bored

malzi21 8

Friday 5 October 2012 7:39

So what happened? You were on red, she was on blue?

Autoshot 9

Friday 5 October 2012 8:19

Put dick on pink.. And this had so much potential... : /

bmazzagatti 4

Friday 5 October 2012 21:21

Bail bro! Just bail

freizz 1

Saturday 6 October 2012 11:02

urgh. Over protective strict parents.

mlss_ox 3

Sunday 7 October 2012 12:55

holy crap. that sucks!

rebelzomm 10

Sunday 7 October 2012 17:58

Its basically Twister on hard mode! FYL OP!

manaallovesfmls 19

Sunday 9 December 2012 6:02

If it bothered your girlfriend she would've said something to your parents.

poptart840 5

Saturday 12 January 2013 15:36

*Strip twister. You don't start off naked xD

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The Top

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 207

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 830

You deserved it 225

The Top

Today, it was my co-worker's birthday but she told me not to mention it. Feeling bad for her, I went out to buy her a card, a present, and even a small cake. It turns out that there was actually a party during our lunch break, and I was the only one in our office not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 402

You deserved it 3 587

Today, now our boys are older, my husband doesn’t care what they do. Apparently, if he knows what they’re doing, he’ll have to get off his chair and parent, which will annoy both him and the boys, so it’s easier to let the boys destroy their room, because at least then everyone but me is happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 162

Today, while clearing out my kitchen, I discovered a Tupperware container that'd been forgotten for so long it'd developed its own ecosystem. When I opened it, a funky smell engulfed the kitchen, and I realized I had unintentionally created a new form of life. I promptly closed the container, then put it in the freezer in the hope of killing whatever it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 592

Today, I have been in my "office" for 6 weeks. It is literally a closet. I was reminded of this fact when a janitor walked in without knocking, carrying empty boxes he intended to store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 380

You deserved it 905

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 678

You deserved it 15 760

Today, the girl who tormented my life for nine years was hired at my part-time job. We're assigned to work together on a three-month-long project which will involve tons of communication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 777

You deserved it 3 147