Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the...

FML for mobile
Free

By Wino - 05/12/2009 04:08 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 793

You deserved it 34 557

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 13 882

Bulk buying

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 20:00 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 413

By bakedplum - 01/11/2011 17:52 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 814

You deserved it 23 825

By joe - 08/08/2010 07:14 - United States

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 813

You deserved it 8 350

By Marty - 10/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Irving

Today, I bought a small bottle of liquor to share with my husband to celebrate our move. It took three hours at the store as the cashier, manager, GM, and a police officer checked my ID believing it was fake. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 197

You deserved it 313

Smart move

By Triedtobecool - 06/04/2009 02:22 - Canada

Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 976

You deserved it 99 967

Inappropriate crush

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 17:00

Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 362

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 12:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 184

You deserved it 9 689

The first step is admitting you have a problem: take away is bad for you.

By Tyr88 - 05/03/2017 02:00 - Australia - Blakehurst

Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 561

You deserved it 1 615

By 20 - 31/12/2009 00:28 - Australia

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 100

You deserved it 3 124

musicislife1995_fml 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 9:27

lol you drink so much you had to lie to a cashier!

cerebellum_fml 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 9:50

PARTY AT HER HOUSE

Comments

Ascaryrobot 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 12:08

Keep going, I drink so much my piss smells of vodka but i still hold down a job and stuff, it's easy. Flinga, if your friend drank themselves to death that fine with me but don't preach to others when you don't even know them and their own backstory, everyone is different.

owlsong 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 21:46

That's called being a fuctional alcoholic.

naom93 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 12:32

How is this an FML?? You chose to buy the beer @_@

8trickster8 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 13:18

Drink away your drinking problem. It can't fail!

MrPresidentBoss1 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 13:38

Your an alcoholic lier. you should have invited her to the party anyways. if she was cute or if not you can drink until she's hot.

Ducati45 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 13:54

but...drinking by yourself isn't fun! You should have a party!

Vampire_Goddess 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 14:08

alcoholiiiiic alert

jollyjam1 2

Saturday 5 December 2009 14:16

Using legal drugs to dull your pain isn't wise. Perhaps some help is in order.

sooverit01 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 14:43

We don't necessarily know if the OP has a drinking problem, but if he does then help is certainly needed. But, perhaps, he was just in for a good night, in which case go for it.

Starfire22 5

Saturday 5 December 2009 14:55

Well if it's a habit for you to do this, go to AA and get help. If it's a once in awhile, get ****** up with your friends deal, have fun., live it up!