Health: Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out,...

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 23:08 - United States - New Kensington

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 482

You deserved it 3 411

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's a doggy dog world

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 301

You deserved it 165

By lover21 - 08/05/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 719

You deserved it 2 867

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 586

You deserved it 3 500

By N/A - 25/09/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 473

You deserved it 2 841

Gender bending

By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 16:59

Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 201

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 995

You deserved it 3 878

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 18:01 - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 052

You deserved it 5 410

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 470

You deserved it 4 937

By xXx3mi_MuffinxXx - 01/07/2011 19:23 - United States

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 760

You deserved it 3 214

I'm in a hurry

By Anonymous - 20/01/2020 20:00

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 541

You deserved it 144

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 21 June 2012 8:41

It must get hairy too, if you know what I mean. All those dog hairs.

therealslim 15

Thursday 21 June 2012 8:41

Did you wink and say yes?

Comments

sesamehood 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:07

you don't get wet but you're bitches do ,anyone ? no? alright ill leave

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 22 June 2012 13:25

Or she could have replied that bitches get her wet. =)

suckmylife669 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:12

Cant blame her, bathing dogs turns me on.

suckmylife669 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:15

Also 22, i think its your* sorry! thumb me down now.

joejoejoey 4

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:26

It's a good thing that you don't work at a store that sells fish. She could have said "wow I bet you get wet alot and smell like fish".

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:26

In the summer, I get wet. A lot.

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 21 June 2012 18:00

Swimming, right?

Roxxxxay 13

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:27

It'd be even more awkward if you asked her the same thing back out of embarrassment

iLuvsIt 10

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:29

this was said at

DogsPaw 16

Thursday 21 June 2012 11:08

Where?!?!? I must know where this was said!

TheElderTROLLZ 15

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:34

Disturbing profile pic...

Kbearlove23 0

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:39

Dirty mind Tsk tsk lol (:

Wicked361 8

Thursday 21 June 2012 18:06

69% of people can find something dirty in a sentence. ;)

In_some_bullshit 13

Thursday 21 June 2012 9:51

31 yeah & just from name and pic(& her moderated comment above) I believe it's safe to assume she is Crazy than a bag of dust!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Awkward Management Work Poopoo peepee Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 711

You deserved it 5 223

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 003

You deserved it 42 708

The Top

Today, I skipped class and went to back my apartment early. I found out that my roommate had broken into my room and was laying in my bed wearing my underwear, taking pictures of herself. Apparently, she's been doing it all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 959

You deserved it 782

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 016

You deserved it 4 721

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 481

You deserved it 3 858

Today, my cat decided that the best place for her to pee was over the surge protector where my modem, router, and printer are plugged in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 221

Today, my boyfriend is mad at his landlady because she hasn’t followed through yet on the new front door she promised a month ago. He, on the other hand, has neither cleaned the toilet, nor washed any dishes since he moved in. Which was… a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 177

Today, I rushed to a job interview, but my cat rubbed against me, covering my suit in fur. I grabbed a lint roller, tripped over the cat, and knocked out a front tooth. I showed up sweaty, disheveled, and missing a tooth. I didn’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 120