Intimacy: Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living...

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 449

You deserved it 42 552

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 599

You deserved it 2 811

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 2 545

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 210

You deserved it 26 150

Gross

By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 17:00 - Canada - Elora

Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 542

You deserved it 1 617

By ohEw - 09/11/2017 10:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 006

You deserved it 266

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 506

You deserved it 46 408

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 40 478

By PJ. - 05/01/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 508

You deserved it 35 158

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 125

You deserved it 3 368

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 6 019

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.

thacar 1

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!

Comments

SquishFish 15

Wednesday 1 August 2012 5:47

I live in Montana too! So cold..... Haha

jarockstar27 10

Wednesday 1 August 2012 6:20

Really....really OP....

HeartOfLead 24

Wednesday 1 August 2012 6:58

Ah, so how was sex with Jill?

the_flirttt 8

Wednesday 1 August 2012 8:39

That is disgusting.

PoppaSoda 5

Wednesday 1 August 2012 9:01

Trust me.. They already know you, they're going to know you're trying a fast one..

baconator_1 3

Wednesday 1 August 2012 13:42

Your stupid and disgusting

geod69 8

Wednesday 1 August 2012 15:25

Forever alone

NikkiBaby93 1

Wednesday 1 August 2012 15:47

Forever Alone

insanity_vvolf 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 19:49

Forever alone! TuT

rebeccac3 5

Thursday 2 August 2012 6:27

You could have used that time info meet a girl!

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Mental health Work Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 244

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 549

You deserved it 2 738

The Top

In all seriousness, be safe out there guys!

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 160

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 126

You deserved it 3 232

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 460

You deserved it 2 305

Today, I was designated driver for my friends. This entailed standing around in the cold for 3 hours, not drinking, dealing with drunk people, and oh yeah, I almost forgot, cleaning up vomit from my hair, my clothes, and my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 136

You deserved it 7 527

Today, my new neighbor broke into our new house because his key didn't work. We just closed on the house this week and changed the locks when footprints were found in the bathtub after the cleaning crew went through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 647

You deserved it 212

Today, I wore my high school letterman jacket while I was out shopping. A man saw me and muttered to his wife about how sad it is some adults can't grow up and continue to wear their high school paraphernalia, constantly trying to relive their senior year. I am a senior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 825

You deserved it 3 011

Same thing different taste

The Three Bears Conundrum

Gross

Gettin' some

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