By ironik970 - 17/09/2011 06:56 - United States

Spicy
Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 540
You deserved it 2 793

ironik970 tells us more.

ironik970 13

OP here, I can kill a raccoon if it "comes after me" but all of the animal grunting and weird sounds emitting from the walls just paint an image of frightening animal sex in my mind. By the way its the only room on the floor so it's not coming from the room next door.

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

ImInABox 6

.. You know you like it. You and your ***********.

132 8
jillianmathers12 13

Some guy died because he tried to have sex with raccoons on 1000 Ways to Die

78 1

Comments

X3liteXHunterX 12

Wow sounds like and blast. And FIRST!

2 19
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8

Way to go. You win a prize. Nothing.

4 4
Caitlin72 5

1 finally decided he's not gonna hide the fact he's twelve years old on FML.

6 0
jonan1212 5

Wow sounds like a TROLL. And **** U!

0 3
LiveLaughFML 10

i hope you and your pets got your rabies shot xD

7 1
monkeys1315 0

Find a way to kill them raccoons

5 8
ImFrackinBored 13

I'm from AZ where it gets to 120, 90 seems nice haha

7 1
humorizer 14

What a wimp. Over the summer, my room was (on average) 95 degrees. Even now, it's 88 degrees and I'm like "huh... great weather at last!" Then again, I lived in New York and now live in Texas, so maybe that's why I'm not spoiled? ;)

1 1
ImInABox 6

.. You know you like it. You and your ***********.

132 8
Bbhd05 0

"hey son, do you want to visit your aunt and uncle?" "no." Problem solved.

34 1
nolarboot 10

I believe you've misspelled "**********". Sorry, had to.

6 2
monsterbeats_fml 9

********** is when a HUMAN has sex with an animal. that's not **********.

3 3
crazychick1269 7

lol laughed out loud when I saw this comment:P

4 15
TheTehOhPeh 4

I laughed twice as hard just because of the relevance of your picture.

15 1
urdirtyolduncle 15

I didn't laugh at all because I didn't get the reference :(

3 7
dickydickman 0

Angry sex is the best kind!

34 2
thepatty8474 10

Depending on ur profile picture, you look about 7 years old, like wtf?

4 23
crazychick1269 7

yes because all 7 year old have muscles that big... like wtf?

10 14
crazychick1269 7

25.... what of it?

5 16
Killerturtle 11

#15 You sound like a 7 year old yourself. Judging by what you wrote on your profile.

25 0
Kyzahhh 7

This is what happens when these kids don't water down there red cordial enough get on a sugar rush and wanna argue...

8 4
dickydickman 0

You leave my sexy orange pussy alone...

4 0
Wheredidgrungego 12

Trap the raccoons and make them your friends. Then use the air conditioner so you both will be cold!

10 26
prinzess_fml 25

And you believe them?? LOL They just don't want to spend the money!! BTW, Santa and the Tooth Fairy don't exist.

55 5
ikickgingers 15

Who the ***** lap was I sitting on????!

40 1
Wheredidgrungego 12

And what psycho stole the teeth from under my pillow?!?!?!

26 2
yamatelle 19

LIES!!! Then who was it that offered me free candy and a dollar in exchange for my tooth and panties while I was walking down the street when I was 7? Hmmm... Now that I think about it, she looked more like Brad Garrett from Everybody Loves Raymond dressed in a fairy dress driving a white van...

27 2
ikickgingers 15

It's was blue, not white . . .

18 2
yamatelle 19

37- How the hell would you know the color of the van? You weren't th..... Wait a minute... Son of a bitch! What the **** did you do with my panties?

45 0
touch_the_sky 7

Or maybe he turned it on and heard it for himself?

9 0
HannahJoButtons 2

Well! At least you didn't say that the eater bunny isn't real! Had me worried for a minute there!

5 1
jillianmathers12 13

Some guy died because he tried to have sex with raccoons on 1000 Ways to Die

78 1
LiveLaughFML 10

wasn't he camping with his guy friend and girl friend and they started having sex, so he got sexually aroused & tried masturbating with a raccoon?

9 0
THE_A_TEEN 27

They were drunk russians in chernobyl, what do you expect.

15 0
trevishere 7

Heh. I seen that episode. he went with his guy friend and I'm pretty sure his own girlfriend and his friend and girlfriend got it going and he was jealous so he tried to get it with the raccoon. He was also an idiot...

8 0
shybear15 0

Lol yeah that's a weird show, but I always watch it

4 0
jillianmathers12 13

I saw this one episode where this chick choked to death because she was practicing with a huge cucumber!

17 0
Caitlin72 5

Its just the guy from the Allstate Insurance commercial.

30 0