Love: Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my...

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 169

You deserved it 6 976

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Same thing different taste

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 281

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 04:30

Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 282

By miss tomato - 08/06/2012 16:36 - United States

Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 507

You deserved it 5 672

By hopelessteej - 28/01/2013 13:55 - Australia - Sydney

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 138

You deserved it 4 096

By titou - 05/01/2009 03:33 - France

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 725

You deserved it 32 652

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

By msnewyearseve - 01/01/2012 17:19 - United States

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 867

You deserved it 33 133

By Raaar - 26/08/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I went to a concert. Knowing these concerts usually include a lot of black lights, I decided to wear a black T-shirt so I wouldn't glow. I was having a good time, but about halfway through I noticed someone pointing to my shoulder. I looked down to see my dandruff glowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 490

You deserved it 17 678

Cute but… TMI

By heytherexo - 05/04/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my 3 year-old son came to the bathroom and put on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterwards, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 957

You deserved it 93 491

aaaaa2p 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:02

Your wife sucks.

TheLoneWolf87 4

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:05

We seriously need a Who Gives A Damn About Twilight feature on FML.

Comments

Pointy130 0

Monday 30 November 2009 4:42

PIXIE!!!!!!! GET IN THE JAR!!!

holdhands 0

Monday 30 November 2009 5:43

ohmygod this made me laugh out loud.

drops_of_Jupiter 0

Monday 30 November 2009 5:50

that's honestly really pathetic. some of these fans are doing the dumbest shit. edward in the movie is beyond ugly, awkward, and comes across like a rapist. He looks like a peice of shit. Robert Pattersomething is a horrible actor, period. the movies suck so much.

Mikki_Mik 0

Monday 30 November 2009 6:01

ok ur wife is straight up creepy. that would've been a hint to me to pack my things and leave. ahah

cake_deco8er 0

Monday 30 November 2009 6:55

I read the books and seen the movies but I would never in a million years do anything to that extent. Turning a fiction book into part of your life style is weird...

NanaNi_fml 0

Monday 30 November 2009 6:57

Oh my I hope somehow she will get over this. Twilight is an extremely creepy book and women who enjoy it are ok but that iss to far. Becareful dont let her name your child Renesmee and watch out she might cheat on you for a guy named Edward.

slyace 9

Monday 30 November 2009 7:08

Wow someone compared you to a gay vampire. That sucks man.

Megantilby 0

Monday 30 November 2009 8:00

um # 219 ur gay for thinking Edward is he's more of a man then u! and I agree with the lady she's totaly right for putting glitter in u so u look like Edward

SkinnyWALLrus 0

Tuesday 1 December 2009 5:44

#220.. WHAT THE HELL??? hes not even real so theres no way he can be more of a man than any REAL male person. you have issues and need psychiatric help.... right for putting glitter on him so he looks like edward???.... are you by any chance single??