Love: Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which...

By justlittleoldme - 12/03/2010 13:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 866

You deserved it 7 304

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

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Same thing different taste

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 733

You deserved it 844

By Anonymous - 03/06/2010 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a gun under his pillow. This was only after my friends and I surprised him with his birthday cake while he was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 472

You deserved it 7 061

By raebelle - 02/06/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 647

You deserved it 10 775

The language of love

By Paicked - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 643

You deserved it 17 863

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 045

You deserved it 258

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 142

You deserved it 3 334

By Anonymous - 19/06/2015 19:00 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 991

You deserved it 3 756

Sorry dear

By Empi - 29/11/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 168

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 141

You deserved it 5 095

Drew_V 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:12

lol I'm sorry thats pretty funny

H00K_M 8

Friday 12 March 2010 16:13

But seriously...what kind of gun was it?

Comments

infernofalcon 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:18

well, it wasn't a gun, persay... He was simply-FIRIN' HIS LAZAH! BBBBLLLLAAAARRRRGGGGHHGH!!!

Peter_File 0

Friday 12 March 2010 17:01

this made my day ^^ or night ... considering it's 11:30pm here

LtBrenton 16

Friday 12 March 2010 19:35

YDI for dating Doctor Octagonapus.

ericownz101 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 1:17

shoop da whoop

ageofkyle 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 6:13

doctor-octa-motherfucking-gonapus BLEARGGGGGHH!

ragdollsaally 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:21

dude he comforted you, can't he be curious???

mylifeisover1305 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:22

hahahahhahahahahhahaha that's halarious

Intellectualist 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:23

He was probably just trying to make you laugh. Chill. Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

katmandont 0

Friday 12 March 2010 17:36

Damn, I was about to imagine having my sweaty thing petted

ericownz101 0

Saturday 13 March 2010 1:32

21, u can pet my sweaty things any day ;P

righttorule 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:25

Take the dream as a warning & shoot him first!

star_86 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:25

oh no! I have a boyfriend with humor! .... OP stop crying. It was just a dream and your boyfriend sounds funny. No fml.

jazziloveberryy 3

Friday 12 March 2010 17:02

agreed

Macho_Madness 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:26

"a 44. magnum the most powerful gun ever made" no seriously i would ask the same thing, how did he hold it? was it a rifle? or a pistol?

kyliebeatriz08 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:26

ohhh come on op, he was probably joking it's not a big deal

youthink_fml 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:29

I'm sure he was just joking, but YDI for crying over a damn dream. Drama queen.

osellr 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:31

You cried? how old are you, 9? get over yourself.

Anonnamus 0

Friday 12 March 2010 16:50

This could quite possibly be the same OP who wants a Tinkerbell tramp stamp.

Keywords

Health Haircut Hair Miscellaneous Money Christmas Gifts Relatable Lonely Parents Drunk Cars Kids Family Awkward Ironic Love Social Media Technology Narcissistic parents Holidays Relationship advice Dogs Animals Poopoo peepee Annoying My ex Work Religion Shopping

The Top

Today, my husband had confessed that we couldn't go on a vacation this spring because he was out of vacation time. He took two weeks off and pretended to go to work, then came home once I'd left. Another woman? No, some stupid shit in his video game called "Runescape Leagues." FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 154

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 527

You deserved it 15 073

The Top

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 159

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 074

You deserved it 7 981

Today, I noticed my cat was about to vomit on the rug and yelled at her to move. She spooked and managed to throw up while running. I still had to clean up the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 536

You deserved it 2 206

Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 1 207

Today, I was accidentally tagged in a photo of a group of people by a 'friend' on Facebook. She later corrected it, apparently everyone had already seen the tag and decided that the comment box below was a great opportunity to discuss how none of them would ever be caught dead hanging out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 694

You deserved it 3 925

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 57

Same thing different taste

The language of love

Psychopath's joke

Sorry dear

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