Intimacy: Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine...

By hdat - 11/06/2009 17:51 - Canada

Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 938

You deserved it 16 201

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 13:26 - United States - Manchester

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 331

You deserved it 4 027

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 041

You deserved it 9 040

By human - 21/06/2019 00:01

Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 10:03 - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 873

You deserved it 41 375

By idk ask freud - 04/07/2013 04:11 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 758

You deserved it 9 912

By wtfdreams - 17/05/2009 12:33 - United States

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193 134

You deserved it 50 225

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 913

You deserved it 5 024

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 276

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 042

You deserved it 2 322

No shit

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 11:00 - Australia - Aspley

Today, I had a dream that I was having one of the best poops of my life. I woke up feeling very content and relaxed, until I rolled over and realised it wasn't a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 228

_Skies 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:31

Thinking about them Twinkies again eh?

swirlsofhoney 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 23:29

hey vending machine food is good just not that good...

Comments

dearing94 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 21:22

This definately turned me on.

kookoo831 0

Sunday 27 March 2011 15:51

Hot.

Bullheard 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 7:35

how much do u weigh?? how fat r u???

termanator20548 0

Saturday 4 February 2012 3:02

That sounds amazing

Tre_morris118 0

Thursday 4 October 2012 3:51

I guess u were eating butterfingers and had to wipe ur hands in ur dream and I guess that that was ur closest towel

Tre_morris118 0

Thursday 4 October 2012 3:53

its called organic food not ORGASMIC lol

Tre_morris118 0

Thursday 4 October 2012 3:54

you took pleasure food to a whole notha level.. O.O was it good tho

_bbybustitopen 9

Sunday 24 February 2013 1:51

lmfaooooo, free food would turn me on too ;) bahahaha.

The_9th_Doctor 18

Saturday 7 September 2013 6:00

this is the oddest post I've ever looked at

XxQuartersxX 14

Saturday 7 September 2013 18:39

Are you like, obese by chance? Lol

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 11

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her Facebook status said, "Pointless day, gone to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 805

You deserved it 3 020

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Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 569

You deserved it 3 125

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend started singing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 232

You deserved it 10 684

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 648

You deserved it 2 230

Today, like every day for the past six months, I have to go to work and walk on eggshells so the newest employee doesn't feel like I'm being passive-aggressive. I need a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 142

Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 557

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 821

You deserved it 5 901

Same thing different taste

Poor pillow

No shit

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