Intimacy: Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad...

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 6 723

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Same thing different taste

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 279

By frankrizzo - 01/02/2009 17:29 - Canada

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 9 042

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 191

You deserved it 53 420

By AwkwardMoments - 26/01/2017 14:00

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 967

You deserved it 712

By jennahh - 10/07/2019 22:00

Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 186

You deserved it 1 059

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 993

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 6 832

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 915

You deserved it 5 025

Cheeky

By woopdeedo_1 - 07/03/2010 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 233

You deserved it 3 609

yankfan89 27

Thursday 7 June 2012 22:45

Must have been one hell of a dream to be sleep humping.

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 7 June 2012 22:44

Were you drooling too?

Comments

zandalee 19

Friday 8 June 2012 3:55

Omg! This has made my day. Thanks for that laugh OP, I really needed that!

Aaliyah24 0

Friday 8 June 2012 4:45

Lmao At least your family left you finish but that's still creepy & awkward haha

bspiper87 7

Friday 8 June 2012 4:53

56-makeitrain123. That will be all the womens excuse on Maury now. I had sex with 5 guys but the one in my dream got me pregnant

winnerme123 8

Friday 8 June 2012 5:08

YouTube

ImFaawkinAmazin 5

Friday 8 June 2012 6:19

LMMFAO!!!

SoultheWolf 19

Friday 8 June 2012 7:20

I laughed so hard when I read this I popped my back. I really hope they posted that on Youtube. LOL

onelove858 5

Friday 8 June 2012 7:23

Gramdma-"back in my day we actually got laid instead of dreaming about it"

diva239 8

Friday 8 June 2012 10:00

How embarrassing!!!

K_STR2234 6

Friday 8 June 2012 11:00

Awsome

cupcake4eva 6

Friday 8 June 2012 13:38

Atleast the dream was good..

Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Holidays Miscellaneous Family Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Suspicious Cheating Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, my mom and I went to visit my Dad to wish him happy birthday. I was at a red light, waiting to make a left-hand turn into the only driveway, and once the light turned green, I was unable to go, because another car was coming out. Cars behind me were beeping. I was turning into the cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 101

Today, my boss sent me a message about a project, via WhatsApp. It's my day off, so I figured it could wait till I was able to give a flying fuck. Literally a minute later, he was spamming me, demanding to know why I'd left him as read and reminding me that he has firing powers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 351

You deserved it 1 619

The Top

Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 704

You deserved it 887

Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 673

You deserved it 11 077

Today, my son has decided he doesn’t want children, or pets, or friends, or a girlfriend, or to visit his living relatives, except for me. I’m scared that once I’m dead he’ll disappear into his house and never come out until the neighbours notice the smell after he’s dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 436

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 093

You deserved it 5 146

Today, I realized that the full body wax I got two weeks ago that my wife told me would look sexy doesn't just make me look like a completely hairless ten-year-old boy. The ingrown hairs everywhere now make me look like someone with chicken pox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 201

You deserved it 7 057

Today, my girlfriend was given an ultimatum by her dad: come back to China and marry the man he picked for her, or stay here at uni with her 'white devil boyfriend' (me) and be shunned by her whole family forever. She chose here for her future career, but I think she resents me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 140