Transportation: Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about...

By esoog - 19/05/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 525

You deserved it 48 408

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
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Same thing different taste

By Bianka05 - 19/07/2017 20:00

Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 993

You deserved it 967

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 975

You deserved it 12 964

By Anonymous - 03/01/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 563

You deserved it 29 186

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 329

You deserved it 4 963

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 455

By Reno - 15/04/2013 16:25 - United States - Reno

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 681

You deserved it 8 973

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 309

You deserved it 2 689

By ugh - 28/04/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 974

You deserved it 57 472

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 114

Not so smart

By Jilleanna Montana - 20/11/2024 07:00 - United States - Billings

Today, at 6 a.m. I rolled over in bed causing my smartwatch to vibrate with an alert that it had detected a hard fall. Ten seconds after I dismissed the alert, I heard a voice from my watch with the dreaded words, "911, what's your emergency?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 133

zmoney314 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 23:53

wow your a dumbass

We_Li_Ve_Fr_Ee 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 23:53

That is one pissed off vibrate.

Comments

SimmoRocks 1

Friday 20 May 2011 1:21

You. Pussy.

Pufferfish78 5

Friday 20 May 2011 1:22

Idiot!

QwertyMcNugget 0

Friday 20 May 2011 1:32

You were probably dreaming of something as you heard it, and that's what made it seem so loud.

kbearx3 0

Friday 20 May 2011 1:35

maybe if you had PTSD, i can understand? or some kind of psychological trauma? but other than that ydi yo'.

KaenZenwo 0

Friday 20 May 2011 1:44

Does this REALLY happen to people?!

stevenmx86 7

Friday 20 May 2011 1:53

Wow how pathetic..

RoxxyHustle 7

Friday 20 May 2011 2:00

wow, you must be super useful in an emergency situation.

JenL_fml 7

Friday 20 May 2011 2:00

That's one wicked vibrate. o.O

toyotita4 3

Friday 20 May 2011 2:02

As long as you didn't sh!t yourself your good, plus you were by yourself so your kindy of lucky!

neverforgett911 0

Friday 20 May 2011 2:08

hahah ;)

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Awkward Vegan Health Alcohol Singing Work Annoying Miscellaneous Sports Accident Healthy Lifestyle Sex Intimacy Money Kids Gifts Addiction Coworkers Racism Sexism Bodyshaming Parenting Cute Poopoo peepee Weddings Ironic Neighbours AITA

The Top

Today, I've been experiencing a phenomenon where I wake up in the middle of the night, check the time, realize it's the middle of the night, and go right back to sleep. Every time I wake up after falling back asleep, I feel as though me waking up earlier was just my imagination. My own brain is gaslighting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 123

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 343

You deserved it 15 416

The Top

Today, my parents told me, after 30 years of marriage, that they are getting a divorce. I went to my boyfriend's apartment because I needed some comfort. While sobbing to him, he decided to dump me on the spot because my reaction to the news was "immature" and he wants an "adult" relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 371

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 098

You deserved it 4 988

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 514

You deserved it 3 729

Today, I had a package stolen from my porch. It was a shipment of customized M&M's for a Valentine's gift. I spent $60 for someone else to eat "I love you" messages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 562

You deserved it 4 032

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 236

You deserved it 3 297

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 596

You deserved it 4 889

Same thing different taste

Peaky Bladders

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

Not so smart

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