Intimacy: Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night... - FML

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 532

You deserved it 29 767

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 102

You deserved it 44 835

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 91 573

Couldn't have been that great

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 16:59 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 1 147

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 301

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 245

By gold3nshow3r - 09/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 574

You deserved it 436

By tapeissticky591 - 14/07/2012 05:49 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I woke up naked, duck-taped to the wall, with no memory of last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 908

You deserved it 36 515

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 077

You deserved it 64 032

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 4 725

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 342

You deserved it 9 837

Next

Top comments

ThatsHowItsDoneS 2

Saturday 22 September 2012 19:14

That's a pain in the ass isn't it

dansythomas 6

Saturday 22 September 2012 19:13

You're ******

Comments

bobbed_shadow 5

Friday 28 September 2012 17:12

Does your ass hurt?!?!

audichris100cs 3

Sunday 30 September 2012 11:44

ya know they have the button for yeah your life sucks, and the button for yea you deserved it. for you they really need a button for "both"

JoeCool6972 1

Sunday 30 September 2012 19:40

"Roommate".... SURE! You are a ******.

mookiemookie01 24

Monday 1 October 2012 23:20

just cos he's gay, doesn't mean he thinks you're attractive

freshlybreezy 15

Friday 5 October 2012 14:45

Doesn't matter, had sex?

tloko 2

Tuesday 9 October 2012 7:12

Blame it on the alcohol

Aerialtj 0

Monday 31 December 2012 15:09

Trust Me!!! Your gay roommate remembers more than you think he does!!!

xerofilter 11

Tuesday 1 January 2013 22:20

Depends on how cute your roommate is. XD

154rct 7

Thursday 14 February 2013 19:57

Scott pilgrim?

Grauncho 27

Monday 18 March 2013 0:10

Oh he remembers ;333333

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. The constant harassment, threats and stalking by my ex-wife have finally driven her away. This is the third time this has happened. My ex physically beat the other two up, and now she’s scared away the one I wanted to marry. The courts have done nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 141

Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 548

Today, my 27-year-old son told me that for him, eating a food he doesn’t like is “way, way worse” than breaking a bone. He has broken both his arms, several ribs, and a few of his toes, and he still thinks that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 266

Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 670

You deserved it 6 532

Today, I got excited about finishing up my laundry detergent and softener, because I could get new ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 476

You deserved it 3 481

Today, I got fired from my job where you build teddy bears. I got fired not because I did anything wrong, just because they don't like my personality. I'd never worked with my boss, and that means all the employees that work there had a meeting about me, and all confirmed they don't like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 848

You deserved it 6 391