Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML - FML

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By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 926

You deserved it 4 592

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 07:56 - United States

Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 095

You deserved it 4 267

Wakey Wakey!

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 203

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 596

You deserved it 942

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 049

You deserved it 5 240

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 979

You deserved it 297

Sleep punching is a thing

By Anonymous - 13/09/2021 02:00

Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 105

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 368

You deserved it 5 854

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 986

You deserved it 12 170

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 374

You deserved it 24 023

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 989

You deserved it 5 275

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Top comments

kgurlswag 9

Thursday 28 June 2012 22:36

Am I the only one wondering why?!

SkoomaKi 27

Thursday 28 June 2012 22:39

Why? Who? Where? How? Why: You have no luck (hence the FML) Who: A turtle named Henry (the attacker) Where: Probably a bed of sorts How: Falcon punch by Henry's flipper. All questions answered.

Comments

wtfLoki 24

Friday 20 March 2015 7:39

that's gotta hurt!

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The Top

Today, my dad got mad at me for not believing him when he kept repeating that our dear leader was appointing Judge Judy to the government. I then found out he wasn't far off, so I don't know which is worse, that he was technically correct about some TV judge, or that the actual "judge" is even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 177

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 625

You deserved it 5 701

The Top

Today, I recieved a failing grade on my huge end-of-term project. My group members forgot to put my name on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 838

You deserved it 2 352

Today, my husband bought me a puppy. When my daughter got home I showed her the puppy, but all she said was, “Eww, I am not cleaning it or walking it.” She’ll make a fantastic mother one day, I’m sure of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 1 008

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 168

You deserved it 26 445

Today, I finally bought my first car after saving around £5000 and finding an absolute bargain that ticked all the boxes! Today was also the day of my first ever car accident, resulting in the car being written off by an uninsured driver. I had it less than 9 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 867

You deserved it 1 085

Today, I am a grown ass man and I cry when someone is slightly rude to me. I pretend to own my extreme emotional sensitivity, but when push comes to shove, I hate it. I wish I could be more assertive but I just can't. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 278

Today, I woke up to 6 missed calls. I called back to find a woman asking how I know her boyfriend after seeing our texts. I told her he's been my boyfriend for 4 months, and she told me he's been hers for over a year. He vehemently denied knowing who I am as I spoke, even with obvious proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 124

You deserved it 310