Kids: Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow....

By DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 983

You deserved it 3 655

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 19:47 - Australia - Werribee

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 990

You deserved it 4 772

By life insurance for 1 - 30/05/2013 16:29 - United States - Encino

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 703

You deserved it 5 586

By todaddy - 23/05/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 217

You deserved it 4 774

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 09:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year-old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her toothbrush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 4 172

Boundaries

By Alock - 08/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 89

Fundies say the darndest things

By Lyle - 13/12/2020 01:07 - United Kingdom

Today, after my father in law upset my 6-year-old son by telling him creating a world in Minecraft is a sin, because only god is allowed to create worlds so all Minecraft players will burn in hell one day, it's been 5 days since he's slept right because he’s scared the Devil will burn him if he falls asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 116

By I don't know, son - 16/11/2013 01:53 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 846

You deserved it 4 781

By sumhub94 - 14/05/2013 16:48 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 667

You deserved it 3 921

By mommiedearest - 24/12/2015 16:06 - United States - Columbia

Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 830

You deserved it 1 837

By burned - 03/02/2015 20:45

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 986

You deserved it 2 394

asoep 4

Sunday 18 August 2013 19:36

run, run far away

Trivision 10

Sunday 18 August 2013 19:38

Oh no, not another Paranormal Activity! This will be like, what? 27?

Comments

DMalones 1

Monday 19 August 2013 2:33

You should look into therapists

3mILY_maRy629 11

Monday 19 August 2013 2:36

Umm this sounds like some Paranormal Activity movie shit... My advice is to not be like those idiots and get the hell outta that house!

hardcorepuppy 8

Monday 19 August 2013 3:23

Thats like straight from a horror movie. **** that shit kill your son first lol. Im kidding don't do that.

bakabaka714 8

Monday 19 August 2013 3:27

OP this does raise some cause for alarm, kids are sensitive to spirit, and demonic energies, some grow out of it and lose their ability, others keep it and grow it as they age, if this problem persists and gets worse, like your sons behavior changes drastically, don't hesitate to talk to a medium, or your local paranormal team

BriannaMGK 15

Monday 19 August 2013 13:17

This is so true. When I was little, I used to see, talk to, and play with my grandpas spirit. He died a week before my mom found out she was pregnant. I was 2 when I started to see him, and I'd talk about him to my mom, which creeped her out because no one had ever told me about him. I grew out of it.

bakabaka714 8

Tuesday 20 August 2013 2:57

oh wow! I myself actually kept my abilities, I had an imaginary friend well he's not imaginary, my abilities and two other mediums back me up with this, the only thing is, I don't know, how or why he came to be with me, aside from a name, a description thats been burned into my memory since I was aware of him, and a couple theories I have, he's not quite related to me as my family is...its quite strange.

AlexAlxAlex 2

Monday 19 August 2013 3:52

Modern Pillows are actually made with materials so you can breathe through them in a situation like that. Dont jump to the worst straight away it might have been a surprise pillow fight?