Intimacy: Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game...

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By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 396

You deserved it 5 248

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Same thing different taste

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 246

You deserved it 304

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 512

You deserved it 4 698

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 509

You deserved it 11 075

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 361

You deserved it 8 191

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 662

You deserved it 13 971

By kylie - 10/08/2010 07:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 456

You deserved it 9 356

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 925

You deserved it 5 025

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 236

You deserved it 18 916

By ps3isbetterthanme - 11/12/2009 16:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 936

You deserved it 4 332

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 278

You deserved it 722

ADuckOnQuack_fml 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:10

That is... ******* awesome.

tpuff 7

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:09

Boss status

Comments

knight0748 5

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:18

So he was BEATING the game?

dessyrae 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:18

They can do that...? O_o

Mademoiselle_fml 34

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:22

Oh big deal. My boyfriend is the type who would do that, and I'm the type who would try it with my nipples. Haha.

jmacfan1 16

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:18

Nipples actually work. Yes I have tried.

Mademoiselle_fml 34

Thursday 14 June 2012 7:27

Haha. Now you made me want to try it myself... too bad I'm too broke for an iPhone u.u

BubbleGrunge 18

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:27

Did you then take place of the iPhone and reward him for his mad penis skills?

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:34

Is he as creative when he uses it to play with you?

bizarre_ftw 21

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:36

Joy stick. Just mentioning.

iamsickbro32 2

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:37

Whatever!!! That's way sick! He deserves something awesome!

ceegee415 5

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:44

And he's not your ex?

Zer1c 4

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:44

Did he...did he win?

perdix 29

Wednesday 13 June 2012 23:51

Did he have an online opponent, or was he playing with himself?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Parents Awkward Surprise Party Friends Weird Relatable LGBTQIA+ Love Health Diets Bodyshaming Mental health AITA Family Cancer Facebook Death Scams Football Embarrassing Teenagers Clothes Disappointment Education Religion Tinder Anger Jealousy

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Same thing different taste

Talk to me baby

Man City

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