Intimacy: Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game... - FML

By Rosie - 13/06/2012 16:07 - Germany - Wesel

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 393

You deserved it 5 248

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Same thing different taste

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 244

You deserved it 302

Talk to me baby

By fizzie101 - 18/10/2014 21:43 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 509

You deserved it 4 698

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 507

You deserved it 11 072

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 359

You deserved it 8 190

By doesnttastegood - 01/02/2010 10:23 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120 659

You deserved it 13 970

By kylie - 10/08/2010 07:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend texted me, and asked if he could come over to 'have some fun'. Thinking we were going to do it, I freshened up. Turns out his idea of 'having some fun' is playing Doodle Jump and Angry Birds on my iPod. For three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 451

You deserved it 9 354

By urgg - 05/09/2010 14:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 921

You deserved it 5 025

By coldwetnose - 09/05/2011 06:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 228

You deserved it 18 916

By ps3isbetterthanme - 11/12/2009 16:44 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 933

You deserved it 4 331

Man City

By EpicBunBun - 10/05/2017 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 275

You deserved it 722

Next

Top comments

ADuckOnQuack_fml 0

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:10

That is... ******* awesome.

tpuff 7

Wednesday 13 June 2012 22:09

Boss status

Comments

jreaso01 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:44

I would have thought there would be more small dick jokes...must be a lot of little guys on this site...

Ray_of_midnight 22

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:49

"Can you type out an entire FML with your penis?" "Uh, not right now?" "Too bad. A girl's gotta have her standards."

jmac2787 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:50

Are you sure it didn't tell him to use his penis

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Thursday 14 June 2012 2:57

So? I'm sure you've already touched his penis, and of course you've touched your phone. Not that big of a deal. Just wipe it off if it bothers you. What game was it? :D

1LuvsU 1

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:01

I would actually laugh at that. my boyfriend and I are comfortable and we do weird things to mess with each other and if he was to do that I would just crack up! :) and it can be cleaned if needed!

SPSugarShorts 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:02

You should have put FML because you have a boyfriend that has a penis the size of a stylus...

sniipe1617 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:03

Who hasn't done that

Ajwc101 24

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:09

I have to try this. Your boyfriend has ?kî??š.

davide223 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:30

Dayum is he black???

isaiaah 6

Thursday 14 June 2012 3:39

At least you didn't wake up naked and him taking pictures of you.

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The Top

Today, my boss brought his son in as our new manager. This kid has zero experience in our industry and yet waltzed into a £75,000 job where his sole responsibility is telling me how to do a skilled job I started before he was born. Plus half the stuff he tries to tell me is incorrect. Cretin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 86

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 349

You deserved it 2 588

The Top

Today, I was at the beach walking on the boardwalk without a shirt on. Two cute girls are walking my way and I decide to try and impress them by flexing my abs. While I flexed them, I accidentally let a fart out that everyone heard. Everybody, including the girls, laughed hysterically at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 936

You deserved it 81 870

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me over video chat. Two days before I was to move across the country to be with him. All of my things are already shipped. He said he thinks of me as a sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 428

You deserved it 1 090

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 833

You deserved it 53 172

Today, I was yelled at by my mom for not communicating to the rest of my family about the zoom call SHE planned and asked for. The call was to celebrate my birthday. Apparently, it was my responsibility to coordinate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 109

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 057

You deserved it 2 876

Today, my boyfriend realised that I’m from the part of Louisiana where we hunt gators for food, and dumped me because he doesn’t want to be a city boy who ends up fathering redneck kids, and having to sail through swamps to visit the in-laws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 198