Money: Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving... - FML

By Noname - 19/01/2009 10:26 - Canada

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 198

You deserved it 10 022

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Same thing different taste

By steveinnewsoh - 18/01/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 002

You deserved it 2 957

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 384

You deserved it 6 088

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 00:28 - Canada - Hagersville

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 424

You deserved it 55 985

By AJShow80 - 13/04/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money, saying it was collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then used his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and won 500 dollars. The jackass wouldn't split it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 260

You deserved it 18 234

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 16:13 - United States

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 460

You deserved it 9 165

By BigMoney - 07/09/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 466

You deserved it 13 585

By anonymous - 17/05/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 811

You deserved it 28 403

By Dora - 12/10/2009 13:21 - Canada

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 272

You deserved it 7 989

By SwingingChili - 27/10/2015 05:49

Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident to win every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 654

You deserved it 4 653

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 239

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Top comments

mellowyellowww 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:31

i hope you gave him the money to buy himself some hands. but i bet you didn't. selfish.

cbahh 0

Friday 20 February 2009 4:36

This made me laugh for 3 whole minutes.

Comments

My2864 1

Tuesday 6 July 2010 1:56

"today i won 5000 dollars" thats where i thought **** you, you shouldnt be allowed to post

torontobuds 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 11:40

agreed

CRlovers123 0

Monday 23 August 2010 5:57

fml? u freakin won 5000 dollars

Glant 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 22:21

Did he have the rumblies in his tummy that only hands could satisfy?

ThatOddGirl 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 18:31

"CAAAAAAAAAARL that KILLS people!!!" haha llamas with hats xD

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Sunday 19 September 2010 1:07

HOW THE HELL IS THIS AN FML?!? YOU WON 5 GRAND AND PROCEEDED TO TELL EVERYONE YOUR LIFE SUCKS??? **** YOU!!!! GO BUY A HOOKER AND TELL EVERYONE HOW YOU BLEW ALL YOUR MONEY ON HER AND GOT AN STD IN RETURN. >:( asshole.

irokyoursox 6

Thursday 16 December 2010 8:19

how is this an fml you freakin won $5000

littlebirdy_55 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 21:12

so???? you won 5k, man, who the **** cares if the guys next to you hates you!!!!

makavella 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:19

Omfg L M F A O!!!

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Friday 8 April 2011 7:19

it's like "Yea!! I just one 5000 dollars beat that son!!" *turns to give dude hi five* "nawl"

evi661 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:05

what's the big deal you got 5000

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The Top

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 10 760

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, my son had an excessive nosebleed, like I did when I was little. I called my parents to ask what the name of the surgery was that I had to stop the bleeding. They don’t know because they don’t remember me needing surgery for that, OR when I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. They remember my brother’s though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 107

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 627

You deserved it 2 728

Today, a woman I’d never met came to my door asking if my kids were ready to go. Obviously I refused to send my kids with a stranger. Apparently she’s my ex's new girlfriend and "has his permission" to come get my kids. Now he’s threatening to take me to court for violating the visitation order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 589

You deserved it 191

Today, I realized how nice it was that, after moving into my ground-floor apartment, I no longer have to worry about being too loud walking on the floor at night. Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbors do not have any qualms about shouting or stomping their feet loudly at night, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 222

You deserved it 3 581

Today, I asked a customer three times before he saw the doctor if he had any medical insurance and he replied "No" each time. Paying his bill out of pocket, this dude had the nerve to ask, "So why didn't my medical insurance cover this?" He had coverage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 970

You deserved it 158

Today, while finishing up at work, I started helping a co-worker out with his workload since I'd finished mine. His girlfriend apparently didn't like this and started slamming things around, constantly muttering passive aggressive comments because she wanted to help him. I work with idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 647

You deserved it 901