Money: Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving... - FML

By Noname - 19/01/2009 10:26 - Canada

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 10 022

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Same thing different taste

By steveinnewsoh - 18/01/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 995

You deserved it 2 957

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 383

You deserved it 6 084

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 00:28 - Canada - Hagersville

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 421

You deserved it 55 982

By AJShow80 - 13/04/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money, saying it was collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then used his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and won 500 dollars. The jackass wouldn't split it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 251

You deserved it 18 233

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 16:13 - United States

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 459

You deserved it 9 165

By BigMoney - 07/09/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 459

You deserved it 13 580

By anonymous - 17/05/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 808

You deserved it 28 400

By Dora - 12/10/2009 13:21 - Canada

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 264

You deserved it 7 987

By SwingingChili - 27/10/2015 05:49

Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident to win every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 652

You deserved it 4 651

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 236

Next

Top comments

mellowyellowww 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:31

i hope you gave him the money to buy himself some hands. but i bet you didn't. selfish.

cbahh 0

Friday 20 February 2009 4:36

This made me laugh for 3 whole minutes.

Comments

My2864 1

Tuesday 6 July 2010 1:56

"today i won 5000 dollars" thats where i thought **** you, you shouldnt be allowed to post

torontobuds 0

Saturday 17 July 2010 11:40

agreed

CRlovers123 0

Monday 23 August 2010 5:57

fml? u freakin won 5000 dollars

Glant 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 22:21

Did he have the rumblies in his tummy that only hands could satisfy?

ThatOddGirl 0

Saturday 23 October 2010 18:31

"CAAAAAAAAAARL that KILLS people!!!" haha llamas with hats xD

Rainbow_dumpster 28

Sunday 19 September 2010 1:07

HOW THE HELL IS THIS AN FML?!? YOU WON 5 GRAND AND PROCEEDED TO TELL EVERYONE YOUR LIFE SUCKS??? **** YOU!!!! GO BUY A HOOKER AND TELL EVERYONE HOW YOU BLEW ALL YOUR MONEY ON HER AND GOT AN STD IN RETURN. >:( asshole.

irokyoursox 6

Thursday 16 December 2010 8:19

how is this an fml you freakin won $5000

littlebirdy_55 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 21:12

so???? you won 5k, man, who the **** cares if the guys next to you hates you!!!!

makavella 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 22:19

Omfg L M F A O!!!

X_o_X_ocutie 0

Friday 8 April 2011 7:19

it's like "Yea!! I just one 5000 dollars beat that son!!" *turns to give dude hi five* "nawl"

evi661 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:05

what's the big deal you got 5000

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The Top

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents. They were both on the bed, and I was lying on the floor next to their bed. Halfway through the movie, apparently forgetting that I was in the room, my parents started getting… friendly. Three feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 775

You deserved it 4 848

Today, I picked up my daughter from daycare. As we were getting into the car, I strapped her into the car seat, but something felt off. I looked back and realized I had picked up the wrong kid. In my defense, she was wearing the same jacket as my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 539

The Top

Today, it was my first day alone with the kids since my separation. Knowing how my ex is a health nut, I made a super healthy dinner for the kids. When she collected them afterwards, she said that if I had cooked like that when we were together, she wouldn’t have fucked Angus. Who the hell is Angus? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 146

You deserved it 207

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 510

You deserved it 3 402

Today, my boyfriend went through my phone while I was in the bathroom, to check if I was cheating. I'm not. He was looking for some leverage for when he told me he's been fucking my best friend for the last year, he could use something against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 440

You deserved it 260

Today, I found out that my boyfriend jerked off more times than he called me when I was out of town for 4 days. Me: 0; porn: 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 686

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 508

You deserved it 10 182

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 205

You deserved it 4 568