Health: Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good...

By Darwin_Award_Winner - 07/06/2012 12:10 - United States - Beaumont

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 711

You deserved it 36 317

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 941

By extraflavour - 23/12/2009 20:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 538

You deserved it 3 199

By tylerlove361 - 11/02/2009 05:30 - United States

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 077

You deserved it 34 033

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 00:10 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 5 988

By welp - 28/10/2015 04:11 - United States - Belton

Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 734

You deserved it 3 619

By mushroomtop - 23/09/2017 23:15

Today, I woke up extremely hung over on a friend's couch after a night of heavy drinking and partying. To my horror, I discovered that, in my drunken state, I'd allowed said friend's six-year-old daughter to trim my hair. I now have a bowl cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 3 524

By Anonymous - 02/02/2015 17:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 911

You deserved it 3 249

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 269

You deserved it 6 092

By knifewow - 20/10/2016 08:30 - Australia - Ashgrove

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 425

You deserved it 13 450

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 04:26 - United States

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 994

You deserved it 6 352

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Thursday 7 June 2012 18:51

It's not normal to shave with a pizza cutter?

bellakaykid 6

Thursday 7 June 2012 18:51

What... Why the ****?

Comments

golferman72 16

Thursday 7 June 2012 23:25

Lol

Steve95401 49

Thursday 7 June 2012 23:26

This might have been okay if your whiskers were made of mozzarella.

Bigbrodza 3

Thursday 7 June 2012 23:56

"today, in a drunken state" YDI.

ThexVengence 21

Friday 8 June 2012 0:19

Pics or it didn't happen

sporty1200xlr 6

Friday 8 June 2012 0:25

I did that too when I was younger, but I did it to my knuckle hair. My buddy still has a bald spot on his calf and that was from about 15 years ago.

amberbelle 14

Friday 8 June 2012 0:32

Where?

iheartgraceface 0

Friday 8 June 2012 0:51

I don't believe this. no amount of alcohol would make a normal person think this is safe/ would work.

nayfray 3

Friday 8 June 2012 1:24

Haha, that really sucks. I've done bad things with the razor when I've been stoned out of my mind...

cman90 4

Friday 8 June 2012 1:28

Dumbass lol

Ray_of_midnight 22

Friday 8 June 2012 2:30

What do we do with a drunken sailor, What do we do with a drunken sailor, What do we do with a drunken sailor Early in the morn'? Shave his bollocks with a pizza cutter, Shave his bollocks with a pizza cutter, Shave his bollocks with a pizza cutter, Early in the morn'!