Work: Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo.... - FML

By immature - 18/09/2014 19:20 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 929

You deserved it 6 388

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/10/2013 13:43 - United States - Romulus

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 841

You deserved it 4 736

By sciencenat - 14/01/2016 06:36 - France - V?lizy-villacoublay

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 909

You deserved it 5 114

By Anonymous - 17/01/2017 14:06

Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 754

You deserved it 1 645

By Anonymous - 16/09/2010 06:04 - United States

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 037

You deserved it 19 780

By terrible kenny - 30/01/2011 09:24 - United States

Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 153

You deserved it 60 667

By Becky - 11/05/2015 20:54 - United Kingdom - Dorchester

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 923

You deserved it 2 385

By Smart - 16/09/2011 14:42 - United States

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 598

You deserved it 3 127

Slipping up

By englishfail - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a class when a student pointed out that I'd used the wrong "your/you're" while writing on the board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 491

You deserved it 48 434

Indoctrination?

By homo fuckofftus - 22/05/2015 17:10 - United States - San Diego

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 197

You deserved it 2 486

RIP

By MrsFart - 18/08/2018 01:30

Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 616

You deserved it 1 791

Next

Top comments

sharkgirl4 23

Friday 19 September 2014 7:30

You must have looked like an ass

chinaski7628 32

Friday 19 September 2014 8:20

No-- it would be 'your anus'. Possessive pronouns still exist in space.

Comments

footcheezeez 16

Friday 19 September 2014 22:38

Dammit... I thought the kids name was Uranus... lol

Brandon1337 29

Friday 19 September 2014 23:04

You sound like a cool teacher. Now I gotta know what's the joke

mister_icicle 17

Saturday 20 September 2014 21:01

How is the USS Enterprise like toilet paper? ;-)

MossyMegaMan 20

Saturday 20 September 2014 22:06

My science teacher gets innuendos, swears like a sailor, never forgets our names, gets sarcasm, talks about fights he got into, tells awesome stories, and couldn't care less if we curse or make sexual jokes. He is the most liked teacher in the entire school.

TheDevilWearsJoe 8

Saturday 20 September 2014 23:20

You live. But what was this innuendo?

fortherecord1 5

Sunday 21 September 2014 21:56

Mr. McKay? Lol

gigithepotato 5

Monday 22 September 2014 1:22

I can assure you that you are the coolest teacher I've came across.

bbmj420 0

Monday 29 September 2014 12:47

Are these students even awake?

looms123 9

Monday 12 January 2015 17:20

I once asked a teacher what colour Uranus was. That got me in so much shit.

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The Top

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

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You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 2 367

Today, I finally accepted my mom will never be a good person, and I'm looking forward to her dying. Apparently, she'd been telling everyone I was a difficult child. I was cooking dinner for her and her boyfriends way back in elementary school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 113

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

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You deserved it 35 378

Today, a woman came in to order lunch. She ordered a sandwich then asked for me to configure it precisely to her complicated desires. This took a whole 5 minutes, during the lunch rush. When I told her the cost, she decided it was too expensive and cancelled her order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 734

You deserved it 780

Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 149

Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny Smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML

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You deserved it 1 830