Miscellaneous: Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday:... - FML

By trice - 08/05/2013 17:48 - United States - Austin

Today, it's my birthday. Three people wished me happy birthday: Google, my insurance company, and the place I lease my car from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 374

You deserved it 4 303

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Same thing different taste

Happy Birthday baby!

By Anonymous - 06/12/2020 18:02 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 98

Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 25/04/2022 04:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, it was my birthday. Nobody said anything, not even my Facebook friends, who probably got a notification about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 173

Birthday Girl

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413 928

You deserved it 21 883

By Micawber - 31/01/2011 13:55 - Denmark

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 432

You deserved it 3 467

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:33 - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 400

You deserved it 2 321

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 1 159

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 24/05/2021 08:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, it's my birthday. My boss's birthday is 5 days away. Instead of wishing me happy birthday, the staff decided to surprise my boss with an early gift. We also had to take a picture of him with everyone. I work at another branch alone, and had to post the picture to social media. Happy Birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 103

By carboncoach - 13/12/2013 17:24 - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 3 405

Friends and family

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 09:59

Today, it was my birthday. None of my family members wished me a happy birthday and neither did the 1,000+ "friends" I have on Facebook either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 357

By rene - 22/08/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 878

You deserved it 3 369

Next

Top comments

abbttmc 12

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:57

Happy birthday now it's 4 people :)

perdix 29

Wednesday 8 May 2013 23:59

Aw, shit, you mean your dentist forgot? If you show Denny's your driver's license, they'll suddenly remember and give you some free food!

Comments

naturalbadassnba 11

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:29

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Believe it or not, i truely do care about u. :) cuz i care about everyone.

daboar 5

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:38

Thats still better than me, I only get one from my insurance company

brittyboo123 35

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:40

At least someone told you happy birthday.

illusong 16

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:40

happy happy birthday .. from all of us to you....we wish it was our birthday... so we could party too....HEY!

Kyle_Kawi27 7

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:45

Happy Birthday!

shaww 28

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:47

am i the only one who noticed there are no dislikes or negative thumbs? P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP!

crystyx3 9

Thursday 9 May 2013 1:55

happy birthday

journeytotheend 16

Thursday 9 May 2013 2:00

Well maybe you should get Facebook then...

RabidRabi 2

Thursday 9 May 2013 2:03

Happy birthday!!!

ebonipoetrist 3

Thursday 9 May 2013 2:04

You officially had your Sixteen candle moment hopefully you get to male out with some hot person on top of their dining room table... Molly Ringwald style

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 9 May 2013 2:07

I can't be sure if 'male out' is deliberate or not. But I'll assume it is. This time!

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Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he replied was, "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 457

You deserved it 6 880

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 856

You deserved it 27 154

The Top

Today, my abusive ex came over to my apartment, hoping to "work things out." Not only did we break up more than 13 years ago, but I moved to a different state just to get away from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 59

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 192

You deserved it 8 947

Today, I cannot believe my husband. All he had to do was contest a bogus parking ticket but because he's incapable of keeping his fat mouth shut, now he’s going to jail for contempt of court. He will lose his job because of this, guaranteed, and we have two kids to support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 210

Today, I started my new job as a supervisor. I began by cleaning out my new office, including recycling large sheets of cardboard left over from the new calendars. When the 2nd shift came in, however, they got very upset and yelled at me. Apparently, I had thrown away my Muslim workers' prayer mats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 394

You deserved it 1 931

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 130

You deserved it 4 712

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 523

You deserved it 10 418